New Link added: NZ Fathers Coalition
What draws me to the New Zealand Fathers' Coalition site is not the usual stuff of condemnations of the prejudices of the family courts in Australia and New Zealand; or the brave stance of the Coalition's founder, Psychologist Dr Viv Roberts; or even the support for the 'Botherings' and other demonstrations in New Zealand and Australia.
What draws me to this site are the heartfelt and professional videos of Dr Roberts describing the links between depression, family breakup, and suicide. His words are like a bell in a pitch-black night. The tone rings viscerally inside me.
The Black Dog, Churchill called it
It is over a year now since the horrid times. They still play back in my emotions on certain dates.
My body is largely healed, though it suffers from the stress of what I've endured.
The days-long exhausting anxiety has largely left me. It sits like a child's nightmare just over my shoulder, but it no longer demands all the energy from every day. Depression is my constant companion. Busying myself with study, work or friends drives it away for a time, but the Black Dog will not be driven away.
No longer do I pray for death every night, and wake disappointed. It only happens occassionally now. My nightmarish fantasies that swirled in my head before sleeping of how to take my own life are just memories I can fight off now.
Unbidden, conversations where I stand before my tormentors and my accusers burn in my mind like the strokes of a lash. Each scar deeper than the last. At least now the strokes fall on scars and not the open flesh of my psyche. They hear the truth, and finally realize it. My words destroy their schemes and denials. The conscious resolution that these conversations will never take place calms the pain in my head and heart more and more.
Just an imagined sighting of one of those involved can make me physically ill even now. The wrenched gut wanes into the numbed mind of depression, which gears me to drive to do more to be certain no one else ever is subjected anything like that again.
I know what Dr Roberts is speaking of. And from this year, I have learned that others have the same symptoms. I describe it my way; others just call it "mind f***ing".
In the videos, Dr Roberts' calm voice does not hide the expressions on his face. The video is like a terrorists' hostage video, -- or the images of Civil Rights' workers from 1960s America. His eyes dart from side to side. He would make a poor witness before an ignorant magistrate whose knowledge only extended to basic body language.
Social Anxiety and Depression
In my layman's search for answers, I would say Dr Roberts -- like every man I have met who has suffered from these injustices -- has social anxiety and depression.
I am of two minds about the Botherings and other demonstrations.
Like most, I believe, I would like to think that those who have been entrusted to administer the law serve the public weal for justice. And like so many, I have come to realize that this is not true. Reality is a rude brace to wear. The fact is that judges and other officials at all levels of the legal and social system are subject to the winds of politics. The Botherings do make the issues a part of the political process because they draw the public's attention.
Ergo, I would whole-heartedly participate in these demonstrations, while at the same time being disgusted that they're necessary.
Other concerns quickly seep into my thinking, too.
I have no wish for these demonstrations to get out of hand. Frustrated citizens can go too far. The idea of kidnapping children is too far. Bombing, attacks, and even verbal abuse of the culpable individuals is too far.
I have no wish to be drawn into the mob mentality of anything. I don't want to see anyone else drawn in either.
On the other hand, I understand the need inside oneself to do something to change the breech of public trust.
Notes on the website
The NZ Fathers' Coalition site is impressive. The blood red background brings a reaction that is hard to avoid.
But navigation is difficult because the central menu across the top disappears if a page is reloaded, leaving the viewer stranded at times. Use the back button or refer to immediate history links if you get stuck somewhere. The impression the site is unfinished is unavoidable. (If nothing else, it fails the use testing.)
Like so many men's and family rights organizations, the NZ Fathers' Coalition has no government funding to spare for website design.
Some of the links lead to blank pages. Resources from the main page is one, but from the drop down menu it leads to the Hands On Parent Trust site and the Fathers of New Zealand, which can help someone deal with the family courts.
Overall the NZ Fathers' Coalition site offers a great deal of inspiration and valuable insights, along with practical suggestions on how to deal with emotions and other issues. The courage and professionalism of Dr Roberts' effort could be made into a valuable program that will save lives, and enrich lives, if the government of NZ were to show that sort of foresight.
That government, like Australia, has given tens of millions to websites and organizations with far deeper prejudices in recent years.
What draws me to this site are the heartfelt and professional videos of Dr Roberts describing the links between depression, family breakup, and suicide. His words are like a bell in a pitch-black night. The tone rings viscerally inside me.
The Black Dog, Churchill called it
It is over a year now since the horrid times. They still play back in my emotions on certain dates.
My body is largely healed, though it suffers from the stress of what I've endured.
The days-long exhausting anxiety has largely left me. It sits like a child's nightmare just over my shoulder, but it no longer demands all the energy from every day. Depression is my constant companion. Busying myself with study, work or friends drives it away for a time, but the Black Dog will not be driven away.
No longer do I pray for death every night, and wake disappointed. It only happens occassionally now. My nightmarish fantasies that swirled in my head before sleeping of how to take my own life are just memories I can fight off now.
Unbidden, conversations where I stand before my tormentors and my accusers burn in my mind like the strokes of a lash. Each scar deeper than the last. At least now the strokes fall on scars and not the open flesh of my psyche. They hear the truth, and finally realize it. My words destroy their schemes and denials. The conscious resolution that these conversations will never take place calms the pain in my head and heart more and more.
Just an imagined sighting of one of those involved can make me physically ill even now. The wrenched gut wanes into the numbed mind of depression, which gears me to drive to do more to be certain no one else ever is subjected anything like that again.
I know what Dr Roberts is speaking of. And from this year, I have learned that others have the same symptoms. I describe it my way; others just call it "mind f***ing".
In the videos, Dr Roberts' calm voice does not hide the expressions on his face. The video is like a terrorists' hostage video, -- or the images of Civil Rights' workers from 1960s America. His eyes dart from side to side. He would make a poor witness before an ignorant magistrate whose knowledge only extended to basic body language.
Social Anxiety and Depression
In my layman's search for answers, I would say Dr Roberts -- like every man I have met who has suffered from these injustices -- has social anxiety and depression.
I am of two minds about the Botherings and other demonstrations.
Like most, I believe, I would like to think that those who have been entrusted to administer the law serve the public weal for justice. And like so many, I have come to realize that this is not true. Reality is a rude brace to wear. The fact is that judges and other officials at all levels of the legal and social system are subject to the winds of politics. The Botherings do make the issues a part of the political process because they draw the public's attention.
Ergo, I would whole-heartedly participate in these demonstrations, while at the same time being disgusted that they're necessary.
Other concerns quickly seep into my thinking, too.
I have no wish for these demonstrations to get out of hand. Frustrated citizens can go too far. The idea of kidnapping children is too far. Bombing, attacks, and even verbal abuse of the culpable individuals is too far.
I have no wish to be drawn into the mob mentality of anything. I don't want to see anyone else drawn in either.
On the other hand, I understand the need inside oneself to do something to change the breech of public trust.
Notes on the website
The NZ Fathers' Coalition site is impressive. The blood red background brings a reaction that is hard to avoid.
But navigation is difficult because the central menu across the top disappears if a page is reloaded, leaving the viewer stranded at times. Use the back button or refer to immediate history links if you get stuck somewhere. The impression the site is unfinished is unavoidable. (If nothing else, it fails the use testing.)
Like so many men's and family rights organizations, the NZ Fathers' Coalition has no government funding to spare for website design.
Some of the links lead to blank pages. Resources from the main page is one, but from the drop down menu it leads to the Hands On Parent Trust site and the Fathers of New Zealand, which can help someone deal with the family courts.
Overall the NZ Fathers' Coalition site offers a great deal of inspiration and valuable insights, along with practical suggestions on how to deal with emotions and other issues. The courage and professionalism of Dr Roberts' effort could be made into a valuable program that will save lives, and enrich lives, if the government of NZ were to show that sort of foresight.
That government, like Australia, has given tens of millions to websites and organizations with far deeper prejudices in recent years.
posted by Unknown at
7:49 AM
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1 Comments:
For more info re the **NZ-FATHERS-Coalition** go www.HandsOnEqualParent.org.nz / **NZ-FATHERS-Coalition**
Onward - Jim
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