A little humor

Ah, yes, divorce......., from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
-Robin Williams-

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
-Roseanne

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
-Billy Crystal-

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!"
-Sean Connery-

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.
-Robert De Niro-

In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for the Wonder Bra. Is that really a problem in this country? Men not paying enough attention to women's breasts?
-Hugh Grant-

We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight or if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms."
-Elayne Boosler-

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?
-Dustin Hoffman-

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."
-Jerry Seinfield-

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
-George Clooney-

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house.
-Rod Stewart-

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
-Robin Williams-

Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
-Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)-

You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend.
-Yasir Arrafat (On going to war over religion)-

On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars.
-Bruce Willis (On the difference between men and women)-

And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
-George Burns-

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
-Sandra Bullock-

The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and the computer will ask, 'Specify type of goat.'
-Jason Alexander (George Castanza on Seinfeld)-

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.
-Sharon Stone-

There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do.
-Henry Kissenger (former US Secretary of State)-