What do the courts teach?

What do the courts teach a child?

There is a lot of verbiage about the “best interests of the child.” It occurred to me that no one has considered the lessons the courts offer the children.
Not only the courts, but the police, social services, and lawyers, what lessons do they teach a child?

A child knows what is happening. Despite the pressure or influence of those around a child, a child knows the truth inside.
Of all the means to judge the effectiveness of the legal system, perhaps this is the most poignant and meaningful.

If we were to look at the police, the courts, magistrates and lawyers through the eyes of an impressionable young person, a child, what would we see?

A child, it has been said, knows the truth, even if they dare not speak it.

Why would a child not speak the truth?

• They will not speak the truth because of the influence of a parent, who urges them to lie, or make up stories to support the stories of the parent.
• Children will not speak the truth because of the influence of their peers or siblings because they want to do what their peers or siblings want them to do.
• Children will not speak the truth they see because they have been taught to tease adults or other authority figures with what the adults or authorities want hear.
• Children will not tell the truth because they know will be punished; or that they are afraid they will be punished.
• A child will do anything to please their parent or parents.

To train a child not to speak the truth is to train them to be irresponsible and, in the extreme, to train them to be a psychopath. Does the legal system teach a child not to tell the truth?

No, the legal system teaches a child that lying is powerful.
In fact, it teaches a child that only a fool tells the truth.

What about those who will say that training a child to deny the truth they know is to show them what it means to be an adult? They will say that learning to choose your lies – or maybe how you express the truth; how they interpret the truth – is simply a necessary part of growing up.

Is this just a lesson of maturity? -- The first step towards the sophistication necessary to be an adult?

These are most obvious lessons from the court -- learned from lawyers and judges.

Are these worthwhile lessons for a child?
Are these the lessons the courts want to teach a child?
Are these the lessons we want the courts to teach a child?

It's all just a game, man.

An aging hippie friend used to tell me, "It's all just a game, man. And we're all just pawns."
It was his way of saying there was no sense in believing in anything. "Some people are pieces, but most of us are just pawns."
If you believe in something, value something, love something, it just leaves you open to be maneuvered.

It took me a long time to understand why I was repulsed by his words. He meant them as a way for me to protect my feelings, to separate myself from the strange mad things we both saw around us.
But what repulsed me was that the saying instantly objectifies us all. We all become just plastic pieces to be moved around according to rules that we had no say in or control over.
In a way, he was being hypocritical. He often said he just wanted to be "a human being, that's all." Game pieces are not human.

The courtroom is special game where only a few know the rules. If you go in there without knowing them, you're less than a pawn. You may be tolerated for a while, even patronized, but sooner or later the people who know the game will just turn you out in disgust.
At that point, the judges and lawyers do whatever they want to you. Like the pieces in a game, you're just there to be amusing.
The fact that the things you love, have worked for all your life, believe in -- even if that is your country or children -- are at stake is meaningless. The only thing that matters is the game.

For an adult, such lessons are hard. An adult can be shattered emotionally by the coldness and condescension of the lawyers and judges, but they have years of experience that can help put the experience in perspective.
For a child, the lesson is traumatic.
The parents whom they have learned to trust and love are reduced to idiots before the court, accused of strange things that are -- within the game -- seen as horrible and bad. Even if the child realizes these strange things are untrue, it only makes the experience worse. -- Which of the parents are telling the truth?

And then, the realization hits them: The truth doesn't matter. This is all about money and who controls it. They, the child(ren) are only notches in a belt. From being the most precious possessions of their parents, they have become pawns to decide who takes what from whom.
To a child, it is not a game.
But it soon will be.

This game is not the same as stealing someone's lunch, getting in a free punch, or making someone look foolish, by lying to teachers or parents.
The judge is the parent, and his or her gang is the police and the law.

Is it any wonder that the children of divorce are 7 times more likely to be addicts or criminals? Not at all.
The courtroom experience only multiplies the failures of the parents -- and all under the guise of protection. The courtroom experience is a training ground for sociopaths, even if the child only sees it second hand when the results rule their lives.

Protection

Why would a child believe that the people in the court -- the lawyers, judges, and police -- are really going to protect them?
In most cases, neither parent has done anything wrong, but the judgment of the court condemns one or the other. One parent is raised to sanctity; the other condemned as a criminal.
One winner. One loser.
There doesn't have to be any pretense of reality, or justice, or truth, involved. The game is over.

And then, the game board is put away.
In the terms of the court, due process has been served. The judge leaves, the lawyers pack up, and all the people are ushered out of the room. There is no expression of concern or care, no hint of affection to salve the wounds or heal the moment. The people are all dismissed. In most children's experience, this is not how those who love and want to protect them act.

Children cannot miss the lesson that "Justice" has little to do with fairness as they've been taught.

What other lessons does the court teach children?
That the law and the judge are more important than their parents or God?
That their parents are not worthy of respect?