Are you joking?

Overheard from the bench:

"He's cute when he dissents."

"Shall we torment the barristers?"

"Who am I to judge?"

No, not really. Those quotes are completely ex parte. Really, I just made them up.
But before you think all of this is fantasy, read on..

TEACHERS are being warned to watch what they write and say about students because of the risk of being sued for defamation.

New South Wales schools have also been urged to closely vet student scripts for theatrical performances and postings on school websites, blogs or electronic bulletins.

At least one former Year 12 student complained he had been defamed in the school magazine and threatened to sue everyone involved.

If you've ever wondered why your kids seem to be unable to read but still get high marks, there's your answer.

(from Australia) The Metafilter folks aren't especially impressed with a mother's complaint that her son's rubbing "Magic Eraser" on himself caused a rash and that more warnings are needed on the package:

"Also, don't let your kids drink Round Up. Or put Tide in their eyes."

"It seems to me that if a product is known for scouring markings off of nearly any surface, some degree of it not being like Oil of Olay moisture rich foaming face wash should be assumed."

"I just checked my box of SOS steel wool soap pads and they don't have any warning either! Won't somebody think of the children?"

"The kid didn't rub his face with the eraser, Mom did. She cleaned his face with sandpaper that didn't look like sandpaper to her, and his face got all red, and she freaked out that he was "burned", because she still doesn't believe the erasers are sandpaper. Not a chemical burn. A friction burn. Caused by Mom."

"Things I have learned today on Metafilter: 1. Do not rub your kid's face with a cleaning pad that can take permanent marker off a hard surface with only a couple of mild scrubs."

To the mother's credit, she says she isn't interested in suing.

Australians seem to blame everything on Americans. I noticed the anti-americanism a couple of years ago when a magistrate said in court "the fat American" in one of his responses to the opposing counsel; now even Rupert Murdoch is telling about it in the media.
The reality of anti-americanism is this: Australians pick and choose what they want from America. Commonly you hear the phrase, "We take the best and leave the rest." about things adopted from the US. What they don't bring with them is the background and experience that often set limits to how something affects society - like the Bill of Rights, for example.
That sort of thing goes into the too-hard bin.

I'm amused to find that Murdoch has pressured the Howard government to set up an Institute of American Studies in Sydney. It's no wonder with Bracks-Hulls running Victoria that Melbourne didn't get it. Murdoch will match the government's $25 million to overcome the misunderstandings between the people of the two nations.
This could be almost as good a source of humor as watching Question Time someday.

Australians must resist and reject "the facile, reflexive, unthinking anti-Americanism that has gripped much of Europe", he told a 500-guest, black-tie American Australian Association dinner in Sydney last night.

Prime Minister John Howard also denounced "armchair anti-Americanism", telling the audience that for all its flaws, America was an "irreplaceable force for good in the world".

America is "an irreplaceable force for good in the world", but the concept of "good" is subjective. Supposedly, the two countries share the same values. But when it comes to living up to those values, and making legal commitments to do so, Australia is missing on all cylinders.
America, for all its faults, takes the hammering every time because it fronts the issues.
Australia would do well to learn that one American value and practice. It ain't easy, ask any American. And if it ain't easy, it's not Australian, sadly.

"The courts have the power to force litigants to mediate, but no one has the power to make them compromise." - heard on the Web