The Buzz

The Buzz

Make Love, NOT babies

Look for the flier at every place you can imagine…

To:

My husband and I are thinking of approaching his ex wife and asking for a mid week visit with his son instead of a telephone call.

She listens in on the telephone calls then tells the child his father is an idiot etc. Afterwards, if something is said during the phone call that she doesn't like she puts the call on hold then tells her son what he is to say. He accidently left the phone off hold.

We tried last year for 50/50 and didn't get it, however are happy to try for a mid week visit instead of a phone call. …

Response:

There is no harm in trying. And I think we should all be continually keeping the pressure up.

Yes the norm now includes some mid-week contact (usually a few hours after school, which is hypocritical because Family Court child psychologists know kids fair better with block contact).

I suggest paying a visit to a senior official in your nearest Family Court and talking to them about it. I also suggest visiting your nearest Family Relationship Centre.

They will probably both say there is nothing they can do about it and will advise you to see your $olicitor. But it is worth a try - to get them on side and sympathetic if possible. Both the Family Court official and any $olicitor will probably tell you that you have no chance in court if there has been no "change in circumstances" .

…

Also it is worth reminding the Family Court and the Family Relationship Centre that your level of contact is way behind the norm, especially in the context of changes in legislation (which they will probably say cannot be applied retrospectively) .

You need to try to 'melt' his ex-partner - that is, try to win detente and then some level of friendship - not easy I know. Possible ways:

- invite her to children's birthday party
- send photos you have taken
- share with her information and things you have done together
- be flexible if she wants to change days, wants extra time (which hopefully she will reciprocate !?)

And:

I don't know if a midweek overnight stay is becoming the norm.

I had orders that permitted the usual mid week phone call. My former spouse & her husband refused to put my son on the phone. I went to court earlier this year.

I was seeking that the order be upheld. Much to surprise Her Honor decided that the phone call was proving 'unsuccessful' , dismissed that part of the previous order and granted me a mid week visit from after school until 7.00pm.

…

Are You at Risk of Becoming a Victim of False Allegations?

Alan Karmin of New Jersey was accused of domestic violence. But he had never assaulted his wife. What was the basis of the claim? It was alleged that Karmin telephoned his ex-wife 10-15 times a day and was late on his child support payments. But telephone records and cancelled checks easily disproved both allegations.

How could anyone make such a ludicrous accusation? Because in New Jersey, state law includes "harassment" in its definition of domestic violence. And according to a report issued today, New Jersey and six other states fall in the "Extremely High Risk" category of states with laws that actually encourage false allegations.

http://www.mediarad ar.org/docs/ Ranking-of-States-DV- Laws.pdf

Newsweek Bashes Dads

Parental Alienation Syndrome occurs when one parent has turned his
or her children against the other parent, destroying the loving
bonds the children and the target parent once enjoyed. Opponents of
fathers and the shared parenting movement often portray PAS as a
nonexistent fraud used by abusive fathers to win shared or sole
custody.

Now Newsweek has joined the fray on behalf of alienating parents and
the feminist activists who love and make apologies for them. In the
new article Fighting Over the Kids: Battered spouses take aim at a
controversial custody strategy

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/14870310/site/newsweek/

"Some of the more important points contained in the documents
include:

1) The allegations of abuse against Genia's ex-husband, Timothy, were never once substantiated.

2) The abuse allegations coincided perfectly with every custody hearing.

3) Genia was caught--on videotape--at a supervised visitation center coaching her children to make remarks against their father.

4) During the hearing resulting in her contempt charge and jailing, she was warned over 15 times to stop interrupting the judge.

5) Despite a position with IBM, paying $80,000 per year, Genia refused to pay her child support.

6) A court appointed psychologist characterized Genia as highly controlling, and said the biggest hurdle to an amicable custody arrangement was this fact.

7) Her previous attorney had quit the case because she was too volatile and unpredictable.

…

Other High-Profile PAS Cases Are Just as Flawed

I'm not very familiar with the Genia Shockome case; however, I've seen enough to be very suspicious of these cases. In my co-authored column Protect Children from Alienation (Providence Journal, 7/8/06)

http://www.glennsac ks.com/protect_ children_ from.htm

I wrote:

"Even in the high-profile cases publicized by critics of PAS, the courts usually had good reason to transfer custody from the mothers to the fathers.

"In one case highlighted by PBS in Breaking the Silence: Children's Stories,
http://www.glennsac ks.com/pbs/ index.php

their 2005 documentary on PAS, the filmmakers claimed that the mother had unjustly lost custody of her daughter to her ex-husband. Yet it was subsequently revealed that a California Juvenile Court had found the mother culpable of multiple acts of child abuse and the court transferred custody to the father to protect the girl.