Dan on Parental Alienation
(A comment by Dan O'Moore from the fathers4equality forum on Yahoo reproduced here with permission)
IMO this is where alienation plays it's most pivotal role. Kicking and screaming children need to be taught to respect thier parents. It is essential in raising reasonable people.
R E S P E C T.
Why does anyone think our society is in the whole it is in?
IMO no one respects JACK SHIT and why should they? The legislation does not respect it's people, the legislation is a tool of money hungry posturing puppets all wanting thier bight of the pie.
Normal children have issues with parents. Childish issues generally but issues none the less. For the alarmists yes there is abuse and that abuse should be stopped but lets look at the less extreme cases. Not all cases of separation mean abuse of children prior to the separation as some would have us believe. Alienation is abuse.
Enter the child abuse that is opportune parental Alienation.
Opportunity for children to act out against one or the other parent guided by the alienating parent.
The alienating parent has great opportunity.
Promises/threats/ accusations are made by the alienating parent and drilled into the children's minds without the excluded parent around there is no rebuttal. Essentially brainwashing IMO.
The children's world is small. Smaller because it is halved. They try to survive. They do what they can to reduce conflict and protect one or the other parent. Generally they try to protect the parent who is most consequential in their lives: The custodial parent.
How can any child make a decision on the parent they wish to/should be with. Their judgment is essentially distorted. The consequences to the ongoing mental health of the child are innumerable. Guilt, anger, hate, jealousy, angst, fear all go into the mix.
When parents parent they will, if they care for the children, make some decisions for the children that the children wont like. Easy opportunity for alienation.
Dads are generally given the role of disciplinarian of the house. "You wait till your father gets home".
Fathers are easily made out to be dangerous." I love you darling you know I'll never hurt you, I'll never let Daddy tell you off again".
I feel the choice of the child is not good parenting unless it is a choice of friends, school subject, sporting activity, ice cream flavour or the like.
The Secret court seems to like its position of overseeing parent. This is why we have alienation that is inadvertently sanctioned, delivered & amplified by the Secret court. IMO this is essentially why the Secret court is not receiving parental alienation syndrome easily. As all in the court live off it!
Child's choice equals alienation opportunity IMO. While children must have the right to choose that right should be implimented very carefully. Just because a child doesn't like one or the other parent does NOT mean the parent is not parenting well. Children are at a grave disadvantage if they are to choose on the basis of which parent they like the most versus both parents police each others actions toward the child and have only the childs best interests at heart. Two parents offering balance and a broader spectrum of reactionary and educational outlook.
Both parents mould new individuals of their children with the balance that is two parents. That is the essence of life and natural selection. Individualism creates new ideas. Ideas that seem to be lacking in our country. Many overseas people have told me that we Australians are seen as the cattle of the world shunted whichever way our legislation pushes us and what do we do about it? Nothing! All the Australian votes go toward enterprise. Our little group (for our egos - ever expanding group - :) is a rarity of public discussion regarding legislation. Australia has been moulded against the individual. Is it no wonder that most individual enterprises fail on all scales?
Only having one parent makes half an individual. Half an individual is behind the leaders from the start. No less a different person but definitely bereft of the love, experience and parenting quality of the excluded parent. Knowing Daddy loves you is not being loved at all, that is having love taken away by exclusion. Being loved is unreplaceable. I dare anyone to rebut that. Money can't by love! I believe this is where youth anger is building from. The lack of love.
Besides life what is it we give our children? Our love & life experiences that is what. That adds up to a whole lot of love missing from a child's life. It adds up to a biased outlook for their lives. It does not add up that children should have either parent excluded. Even in extreme cases I believe that children should have opportunity to glean love and knowledge from both parents. It makes them whole, a whole individual.
Yes of course there will be scare mongering but with good quality observational accounting by re routing funds from bias enterprise the government could tip the balance in favour of better outcomes for children.
Education of errant parents is something I feel is lacking all ways round the Secret court structure. The Secret court is all about the fight. It is all about keeping income status quo for Secret court stakeholders. If they actually cared about the children the monster as we have it would not be in place.
IMO The legislation we now have is not about the people who must live under it. It is essentially political posturing. Nothing goes through without a vote attached to it.
IMO this is where alienation plays it's most pivotal role. Kicking and screaming children need to be taught to respect thier parents. It is essential in raising reasonable people.
R E S P E C T.
Why does anyone think our society is in the whole it is in?
IMO no one respects JACK SHIT and why should they? The legislation does not respect it's people, the legislation is a tool of money hungry posturing puppets all wanting thier bight of the pie.
Normal children have issues with parents. Childish issues generally but issues none the less. For the alarmists yes there is abuse and that abuse should be stopped but lets look at the less extreme cases. Not all cases of separation mean abuse of children prior to the separation as some would have us believe. Alienation is abuse.
Enter the child abuse that is opportune parental Alienation.
Opportunity for children to act out against one or the other parent guided by the alienating parent.
The alienating parent has great opportunity.
Promises/threats/ accusations are made by the alienating parent and drilled into the children's minds without the excluded parent around there is no rebuttal. Essentially brainwashing IMO.
The children's world is small. Smaller because it is halved. They try to survive. They do what they can to reduce conflict and protect one or the other parent. Generally they try to protect the parent who is most consequential in their lives: The custodial parent.
How can any child make a decision on the parent they wish to/should be with. Their judgment is essentially distorted. The consequences to the ongoing mental health of the child are innumerable. Guilt, anger, hate, jealousy, angst, fear all go into the mix.
When parents parent they will, if they care for the children, make some decisions for the children that the children wont like. Easy opportunity for alienation.
Dads are generally given the role of disciplinarian of the house. "You wait till your father gets home".
Fathers are easily made out to be dangerous." I love you darling you know I'll never hurt you, I'll never let Daddy tell you off again".
I feel the choice of the child is not good parenting unless it is a choice of friends, school subject, sporting activity, ice cream flavour or the like.
The Secret court seems to like its position of overseeing parent. This is why we have alienation that is inadvertently sanctioned, delivered & amplified by the Secret court. IMO this is essentially why the Secret court is not receiving parental alienation syndrome easily. As all in the court live off it!
Child's choice equals alienation opportunity IMO. While children must have the right to choose that right should be implimented very carefully. Just because a child doesn't like one or the other parent does NOT mean the parent is not parenting well. Children are at a grave disadvantage if they are to choose on the basis of which parent they like the most versus both parents police each others actions toward the child and have only the childs best interests at heart. Two parents offering balance and a broader spectrum of reactionary and educational outlook.
Both parents mould new individuals of their children with the balance that is two parents. That is the essence of life and natural selection. Individualism creates new ideas. Ideas that seem to be lacking in our country. Many overseas people have told me that we Australians are seen as the cattle of the world shunted whichever way our legislation pushes us and what do we do about it? Nothing! All the Australian votes go toward enterprise. Our little group (for our egos - ever expanding group - :) is a rarity of public discussion regarding legislation. Australia has been moulded against the individual. Is it no wonder that most individual enterprises fail on all scales?
Only having one parent makes half an individual. Half an individual is behind the leaders from the start. No less a different person but definitely bereft of the love, experience and parenting quality of the excluded parent. Knowing Daddy loves you is not being loved at all, that is having love taken away by exclusion. Being loved is unreplaceable. I dare anyone to rebut that. Money can't by love! I believe this is where youth anger is building from. The lack of love.
Besides life what is it we give our children? Our love & life experiences that is what. That adds up to a whole lot of love missing from a child's life. It adds up to a biased outlook for their lives. It does not add up that children should have either parent excluded. Even in extreme cases I believe that children should have opportunity to glean love and knowledge from both parents. It makes them whole, a whole individual.
Yes of course there will be scare mongering but with good quality observational accounting by re routing funds from bias enterprise the government could tip the balance in favour of better outcomes for children.
Education of errant parents is something I feel is lacking all ways round the Secret court structure. The Secret court is all about the fight. It is all about keeping income status quo for Secret court stakeholders. If they actually cared about the children the monster as we have it would not be in place.
IMO The legislation we now have is not about the people who must live under it. It is essentially political posturing. Nothing goes through without a vote attached to it.
Labels: australia, children, dan omoore, family court of australia, family law, parental alienation
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