Groaning Humor

Recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex:

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex.

This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex.

This is when you have been with your partner for a short time
and you are so horny you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex.

This is when you have been with your partner for a long time.
Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex.

This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you
pass each other in the hallway you both say “screw you.”

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex

This means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and
Nun at night.

The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex.

This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to
court and screws you in front of everyone.

And last, but not least…
The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex.

You get a little each month. But not enough to live on.

(Emailed to me months ago, but last seen on Mens Divorce Blog...)

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The Wrongs of a Bill of Rights

(from The Wrongs of Pushing a Bill of Rights, by Alan Anderson, 4 Jan 2006)

Professor George Williams, Australia's leading bill of rights advocate and chairman of the Bracks Government's sham inquiry into the topic, has made no secret of the ultimate goal: a binding Australian bill of rights. Simultaneously, we have heard calls from Williams and federal shadow attorney-general Nicola Roxon for reform of the judicial appointment process.
The intention of these campaigners is plain: the implementation by judicial fiat of a policy agenda that runs contrary to the beliefs of most Australians, giving left-wing judges power to condemn from the bench, or even overrule, the policy decisions of elected representatives. It is frustration with the perceived conservatism of the Australian electorate that is the true wellspring of the push for express rights.

The ancient Chinese curse seems to have been visited upon Australia: “May you live in interesting times.”

It is interesting to see that the concept of a Bill of Rights, -- to protect the rights of citizens against the actions and laws of government, including the judiciary --, is quickly seen as a threat to the powers and rights of the judiciary.
The threat is obvious; and intentional in a mature western culture.
For a government to be of the people, by the people, and for the people, the People must have rights that supersede an authority of government.

Independent Judiciary

In every system of western government, an independent judiciary is considered invaluable. The most often-cited source is the Magna Carta, which established an independent magistracy to balance against the unseemly influence of the King.
As the influence of Royalty has waned somewhat down through the centuries, the problem of judicial oversight has been resolved in various fashions, such as electing judges or limiting tenure. Neither of which is in place in Australia.

In Australia
Australia seems to be gob-struck with the power of the King when it comes to judicial oversight.
In the current Australian system, no serving government oversees the actions of the judiciary directly.
This can be argued by citing charters, but anyone who seeks to report the illegitimate actions of a judge or magistrate will soon be sent on a wild goose chase through Ombudsmen, only to end up back at the Justice Department – where they will be told that the Justice Department cannot intercede in the actions of a magistrate or judge! (I have a couple of letters in a file that state this fact clearly. One from Rob Hulls’ Victorian Justice Department; another from Philip Ruddock’s office.)

There are, of course, state and federal Judicial Oversight Committees, Judicial Advisory Committees, and a few Judicial Reform Committees made up of judges, lawyers, and magistrates who have made their livelihoods and fortunes in the system. They have a vested interest in avoiding reform.
In more common terms: an “Ole Boys’ Club”.

A plea to a Judicial Oversight Committee will quickly be answered by a letter demanding sufficient proof of any wrong doing. Only a trained lawyer could provide such proof; so the complaint is disdainfully dismissed.
The same is true for a complaint to the Judicial Advisory Committees, but there they will declare their impotency as only an advisory committee.

From the work product of the Victorian Judicial Reform Committee, you can only conclude that this was intended as a resume entry for the committee members – and maybe a little extra salary. The recommendations of the Committee are not binding on anyone.
It’s apparent that the Committee members came to understand the nature of their work. At least one major section of the Committee’s recommendations do not even refer to Australia. The whole section is copied from a report produced in the state of Georgia, USA.

A magistrate may take whatever rights s/he chooses from anyone under Australia jurisdiction at any time, including the right to life and property.
It’s all in the interpretation of the law. And that is the function of a judiciary: to interpret the law.

Judicial Appointments

Judicial appointments have long been seen by political leaders as a means to influence the application of the law long past their popularity or political tenure.
In a system where the citizens’ rights are guaranteed against the misappropriation of judicial power and there is effective oversight, this can be seen as a legitimate exercise in the checks and balances of government.

Activist Court
Without those checks and balances in place, a sufficient number of appointments can prejudice the law until all of the appointees reach the retirement age of 70.
This is an “Activist Court” – a mild sounding term for one of the true evils available in a democratic or republican system --, which is the way dictatorships maintain themselves.

The appointees are chosen for a particular view or interpretation of the law.
If that “interpretation” is really a prejudice against a segment of the society. The Activist Courts in the American South promulgated decisions and precedents that can only be interpreted as perversions of the spirit of the laws, if not often the word of law – indeed, the spirit of the nation.

Nixon and Mitchell == Bracks and Hulls?
John Mitchell was Richard Nixon’s Attorney General. Like Mr Hulls, Mitchell was a political hit man, or “political hack” (in aussie terms).

Nixon had a squeaky clean national reputation. He was a Quaker. His conservative views were well-known, but his political reputation was well-earned.
Mitchell was forced from office as the Watergate scandal unfolded. He had been implicated in hiring and training the Watergate burglars who broke into the Democratic National Committee offices to steal documents and plant bugs.
In the trials that ensued, John Mitchell went to jail for more than two years.
Nixon was forced to resign the Presidency of the United States.

One thing that was very clear by the end of the trials was that John Mitchell never understood what the United States stood for. He was chosen for Attorney General because he would do anything and everything to support Richard Nixon.
As the stories unfold about Mr Hulls, he seems to be an Attorney General of the same ilk His Justice Department seems to be relatively uninterested in the rights and affairs of the people in Victoria. And, like Mitchell, he seems a strange choice for Attorney General.

He, like Nixon towards Mitchell, is highly regarded by Mr Bracks, not so much for his ideals and standards, but for his political loyalty.
Mr Hulls seems to have set on a course to establish an activist court in Victoria, basing his most significant appointments not on experience or ability, but on a resume committed to feminism. In fact, radical feminism, that element of feminism driven by a lust for power and fuelled by generating fear in most women.

As Andrew Bolt noted in the Herald Sun, in “The Judicial Puppeteer”:

Order! I find you all guilty of stupidity. You are hereby sentenced to six months in Red Rob's Re-education College to learn what he really has in store with this week's announcement.
No, he doesn't much want judges to be "in touch" with you or with hang-'em-high victims groups.
He wants them instead to be more in touch with him.
This is, in fact, yet another step in Hulls' campaign to pack our courts with judges who are activists -- and intimidate the ones who aren't.

(I don't agree with Bolt's characterizaton of "Red Rob". Frankly, I don't think Rob Hulls has any political philosophy other than Steve Bracks.--PD)
As he did in the Gaming Commission, Mr Hulls is trying to gain the approval of the few at the expense of the principles of the nation. (Some of the comments that resulted from that article are .. interesting.) Anything that will gain support for Mr Bracks.

For some reason, Mr Hulls and Mr Bracks seem to think that the Radical Feminists, whose political agenda is driven by the ideals of Victim Feminism, (see Victim Feminism: An Injustice System)can deliver the women’s vote. In reality, that can only be done by perpetuating disinformation campaign which seeks to instil fear in all women.
I sincerely doubt Feminists or feminism speaks for the majority of Australian women. When the women of Australia realize that they don’t want to be Victims and are tired of living in fear, there will be a fearsome reversal.

In Australia
Free from the constraints of rights and oversight, appointees may interpret the law any way they choose, and there is nothing anyone can do about it.
Despite being a signatory to a number of international civil and human rights charters, and having cast a supporting vote to others, Australia does not see that its citizens need any such checks and balances.

Hence, any law may be passed that curtails human and civil rights, including the right to freedom of movement and association, even the right to live, at any time based on any criteria. If you question that statement, think of the Anti Terrorism Laws.
The UK and US have already mounted successful challenges to the most egregious aspects of such laws, and limited them either by removal or forcing a time limit on them. These challenges have been brought based on civil rights guaranteed to the citizens of those countries. – Rights nowhere guaranteed to the citizens of Australia.

What is clear is in these tumultuous times, like never before, the citizens of Australia need a national Bill of Rights.

The reaction of the judiciary and its apologists illustrate daily and clearly that the Lucky Country needs a Bill of Rights as much as it needs standardization of the Rules of Evidence, and effective oversight of the actions of the judiciary.
The decisions of an activist court such as Mr Hulls is setting up must be subject to adjustments based on the principles of western law. Active, real oversight is a necessity.
In fact, if these activist judges succeed in their attempts to rewrite the word and reverse the spirit of the law, they should be removed summarily.

A friend looked over my shoulder as I was writing this and said, “Where are you getting all this stuff? We never saw anything like that in Australian schools.”
I answered: “Most of it comes from 5th grade civics classes, required in public schools in the US.”

Paul Donley

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Whoa, Whoa! WHOA!! What??

Another of those impromptu conversations on the beach turned up a disturbing idea: Have pro-male activists been targetted and murdered?

Thinking about it, it's very possible.
These men and women are talking about changing national policy affecting billiions of dollars in funding, in an emotionally-charged area of the law. The established officers of the courts, police, and other legal agencies are using prejudice and fear to control that spending and put it into selected pockets.

In the US during the Civil Rights' Movement, a busload of people from a 'Get out the vote' drive were killed and the entire bus buried.

My own times

I know when my ex threatened to have her sons or her former brother-in-law come beat me up, I took it seriously. Most of those threats came when I was barely able to walk. After I got better, I rationalized that my fears were based on my own sense of feeling vulnerable and crippled.
When her older son was discovered to have had a brain tumor, at first I breathed a sigh of relief. He was her main conspirator in the extortion plot. Then I realized that the real danger probably came from the younger son or daughter. Neither of them proved to know any sense of right or wrong other than what their controlling mother told them.

What happened after she filed spurious Intervention Orders certainly convinced me it could happen. For months after the second trial, they would drive past the house where I rented a room, yelling and making lewd gestures. The neighbors told me to call the police. My new landlord was frightened.
I have to admit I walked very carefully when I went outside.
I even had nightmares of her daughter or younger son walking up and shooting me full in the chest. They'd shown me unregistered guns. I'd wake up dreaming that I felt the tug of the bullet and saw the hole.
I gave them what they wanted -- an inequitable settlement -- with the proviso that I didn't have to see any of them again. They seem happy enough with their successful extortion. Other than a few drive-bys and gestures, I haven't seen any of them.
If these folks want to go to such lengths not to talk to me, that's fine.

Have there been politically-motivated killings?

Considering the corruption of the legal system in Victoria seems to be nearly complete from top to bottom, I don't imagine an attack on a Family Rights activist would even be investigated. It would be easy enough to cover up the reasons for a killing.
In the current atmosphere, even a cold-blooded murder could be blamed on the man. It's already happened.

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Why are you here?

On a Yahoo group called femconnexion, someone suggested that I should face my demons.
I replied that I had been grappling with my demons for more than a year.

She meant it as a dismissal; a condemnation of some foolish little man.

Yesterday, one of the members of a local men's group approached me, his eyes examining mine, questioning. He said, "Why are you here? You haven't lost any children. What do you want from this?"
He was looking for a reason to distrust me.
I replied, "When the people who did this to me are put in jail. When they and the Australian government compensate me for the pain I've gone through, I'll leave."
He looked at me and laughed: "That'll be never!"
"Well then that's when I'll stop." I replied. "What happened to me should not happen to anyone. I don't like being the object of prejudice. I don't like being lied about and slandered."

His look as he left reminded me of the magistrate I faced.


He addressed me: "It's customary to stand."
I stood with a short grunt of pain, discretely shaking my leg back into my hip.

"Are you representing yourself," the magistrate said. I nodded. "Yes, I have no choice."
He ignored the statement.

I really had no choice. The only agency that had funds for representation was Frankston Legal Aid. Community Legal Aid had none.
Ros Quick, the managing attorney at Frankston Legal Aid had told me that if this issue went to trial again not to bother coming to her, she would not fund another barrister.

She had been dismissive the first time. I was barely able to get in to see her, and she seemed annoyed that I was there.
Despite the fact that she knew that a self litigant had little chance in the courts; that I was disabled and just recovering from major surgery; and was a foreigner, she initially told me that she did not see that "important rights" were at stake. -- The permanent Intervention Orders only stated that I should be removed from my home and possessions.
It had taken a series of emails over a week or so to convince her otherwise. A week where a small mob descended on my home to intimidate me; destroyed property in common; and later another group of four came to steal federally protected papers -- committing assault in the process.
Finally, only days before the court date, Ms Quick relented and assigned an inexperienced and inept barrister. The barrister had not even read the breif I'd sent him. He was given misleading instructions by Ms Quick that mine was a simple case. He shouted at me repeatedly on the phone, "You would be happy with just remaining in the house, is that correct?" despite my asking if he had read any of the 20 pages I'd sent him.

"You do understand that you will be held to the same standards as any attorney?", the magistrate said.
I nodded. I had no idea what that meant. I had prepared evidence as best I could. It was organized and the questions I'd prepared for my ex and her daughter led from one piece to another. It was the best I could do.

The allegations against me were not sufficient to warrant removal from the house. If anything, they represented an ongoing disagreement that could at best be called 'harassment."
My first motion was to have the disgusting wording of the Intervention Order amended to more accurately reflect the nature of my "crimes." -- That was quickly denied.

My second motion was to introduce to the court a letter from a psychologist at Commonwealth Rehabilitation Services, Win Martin, stating that although I was working hard at retraining, I had not been in any state of mind to agree to the first orders. The magistrate never even looked at the letter. Denied.

I was called to the stand.
I told the magistrate for the third time -- He had seen me two times previous. -- that I had an anxiety problem, and to help overcome that disability had prepared a short statement for the court. I explained to this magistrate for the third time that the stress of two years of increasing abuse by (my ex); the dissolution of our relationship; the stress of a major surgery and then this concocted legal assault had made me very susceptible to anxiety attacks.

He grinned and told me I could not use it. That was it. The lights started spinning around the room. I have no idea what I said. I'm sure the magistrate was amused at this silly man standing there trying to make coherent sentences.

The statement would have taken 2-3 minutes to read into the record.
But I was there alone. And I had no chance.

I told myself that I had to breathe, to calm down, .. over and over.. otherwise I would go into a gran mal seizure.
I only clearly remember a few moments of the rest of that day.

I do remember that I ended up against one wall, hyperventilating, while my ex and her daughter gave their testimony.
The magistrate badgered and questioned every word or action I took.
He never questioned anything from their side, despite the fact that it was clearly rehearsed and duplicated.

Why am I here?
Because what happened to me should not happen to anyone, male or female. Because the courts were used for extortion, and the perpetuation of abuse. Because what happened was inhuman. And because what happened should be seen as an abuse of civil and human rights, not some play-acted justice.

I was effectively convicted of what I had suffered. The police prosecutor read into the record that there was "increasing abuse over a two-year period", and he was right. But because of the blind prejudice of the system and that no one had ever investigated properly, he had the victim and perpetrators mixed up.
I was effectively fined $500 for trying to put the facts before the courts. I had made the mistake of thinking the Australian courts or police, -- really the whole legal and social system I've come to see -- were even vaguely interested in the truth.

If he hadn't done that -- as I said back in May -- I would have put all of this behind me.

Paul Donley

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Something very obvious

Something that is very obvious in the courts, police, and social services is that they have not been adequately trained about the pathology of an abusive relationship.

The model that prevails, and produces such prejudice, is to treat a long-term abusive relationship as a rape. While a rape is certainly abuse, using the traumatic experience of rape to try to understand the evolving nature of an abusive relationship over many years is unprofessional, if not criminal.
Even more ludicrous is to use the rape model to understand child molestation, which occurs at some stage in the child’s development.

A simple, but effective way of understanding rape or child molestation is to say that personality ceases to evolve from the time of the incident, or incidents. The person carries this un-developed portion of their psyche with them for the rest of their life.

The most harmful myth that the courts operate on is that the victim (or Abused) is the first to report abuse.
In the real world, the Abuser is more likely to be the first because they need the courts to vindicate their abuse. An Abuser needs secrecy. If the abuse is about to be exposed, then they want to appear to be the Victim.
You’d think that after all the writings on the role of ‘Victim’; that it is no different than the role of User/Abuser, more professionals would be aware. Obviously, they have either not been trained in this rudimentary psychology, which everyone comes to learn from day to day life, or they have succumbed to the political pressures to ignore their own common sense and best judgment.

Why would the Abused not report the abuse first?
Because the Abused is still trying to protect the Abuser; is in love; or has a commitment to the relationship and seeks to see it through for the sake of the relationship (or possibly the children and others involved.)
We’re moving close to the concept of Stockholm Syndrome and enabling here, and I want to spell out the development of an Abusive Relationship. (see Erin Pizzy's online book, Prone to Violence )

The most likely person to be an Abuser is someone who was abused earlier in their lives.
To understand the acting out in an abusive relationship, look to the links under 'About Abuse' on the right panel.


Initial stage: Denial
Initially, the Abused ignores the abuse. Then the Abused starts making excuses for the Abuser:

• S/he is still suffering from the stress of something;


• I just don’t understand all that (the Abuser) wants to say;


• There are (financial, family, social) pressures on him/her and that’s really not how they are;


• Or any number of excuses that are just a denial of the how the Abused is hurting.

Second stage: Self-defense
The Abused denies the Abuser. If the Abused has some maturity, they may try to describe the actions and words of the Abuser, in an effort to call upon the respect between people and the commitment to the relationship; hoping the Abuser will take responsibility for their actions – and change them.
The Abused may simply walk away from the Abuser when the abuse starts, hoping that the abuse will end.
The Abused may combine the first two tactics with an attempt to give too much respect to the hurtful words of the Abuser. S/he may try to answer all the senseless attacks and reversals of subject. This tactic follows from the excuses that have already been made (above).
This stage may make the Abused feel childish and petulant, helpless to communicate effectively with the other person. This is the beginning of depression if it hasn’t set in before.

Third stage: Reciprocity
The Abused tries to assert him/herself. The Abused assumes that the Abuser has defined a portion of their relationship, and seeks respect by copying the actions and words of the Abuser.
At this stage, there is no difference between Abused and Abuser. This stage may continue for years and find many manipulative and sophisticated means of expression and acting out from both sides.

Reciprocity becomes Competition, which may be seen as another stage.
The Abuser seeks to “win”, either by having the last, most-hurtful stinging line, or by being perceived as the Victim. Competition may become physical because of the frustrations of one or the other with not “winning.”
It should not be assumed that the man will become physical before the woman.

Final stage: Rejection
This stage may never be reached if both Abused and Abuser become trained and addicted to abuse.
At this point, the Abused rejects the words and acting out of the previous stage simply because s/he does not wish to continue to be abusive. The person recognizes that what they are doing is abusive, and wants to stop. (Only someone who is not by nature abusive can reject abusive actions sincerely.)
This will enrage an Abuser. They will see it as a loss of control; and they’re right. The Abuser no longer defines the means of communication. And nothing will frighten an Abuser more than this realization.
Unfortunately, the Abused may become physically ill because of the emotional stress of rejecting abusive words and actions.
They realize the relationship is over – unless a commitment to drastic action is made by both parties.

At any stage, but commonly in the last two, the Abused has to realize that s/he has a decision to make: Either both parties make a commitment to stop the abuse, or the relationship must end.
That is a horribly difficult decision to make if the person is in love, or has made commitments to the relationship and others involved. It doesn’t matter whether the person is Abused or Abuser, the advent of the end of a relationship is extremely difficult.
The most powerful feeling is one of deep, personal failure.

Any of these stages may last for months or even years. Reciprocity may become a habit within the relationship, with each person playing the Abuser or Victim at a given time. Both Abused and Abuser may become addicted to abuse.
At any point in the last two stages, the person may lose interest sexually, or simply avoid the other person. Because pain becomes associated with any contact, the two people may seem to live in different lives or worlds. This acting out is particularly difficult on children since they begin to feel they are being polarized between mother and father (or one partner over the other.)

How can a magistrate or judge discern the roles of Abused and Abuser?
The simplest and best answer is s/he cannot. There is no time in an adversarial court to discern the stage or affects of either Abused or Abuser.
For one thing, the attorneys are doing the talking, not the people who are being judged. And most often, the testimony is coaxed or coached, especially in the present political and social climate.

Mental illness

The most consistent factor in determining an abuser is that the person has been the victim of abuse earlier in their life. Can the court ask about such circumstances? No. And in such a public forum, there is no reason to expect that the person would answer honestly.

The common accusation is that the Abuser is mentally ill. In the current court system, the allegation of abuse is taken as proof the person is mentally ill.
The lawyers know this, and usually add at least an accusation of mental illness to the coached (prepared) testimony. They know that this is one of the things the court is looking for, a sort of checklist. And they know that since it is usually untrue, this allegation will come as a surprise in the courtroom.

For those that display the affects of mental illness, a few facts need to be considered.

• First is the fact that most mentally ill are only harmful to themselves. Less than 5% will actually harm another person.
• Second, the judge often assumes that the affects indicate a chronic mental condition, and punishes the person for it. Again, less than 5% of the mentally ill are harmful to others. But more importantly, there is no way in the courtroom to ascertain if the condition is chronic -- due to some chemical imbalance in the brain -- or reactive, due to the trauma of events in the person's life.

What becomes a civil and human rights issue is: Why is the magistrate so willing to punish someone who appears to be mentally ill by removing him from his home and possessions? But that's a question for another day ...

Depression is a good example.
Cyclical depression occurs no matter what happens in a person's life.
But to be depressed because of the loss of a loved one, job, or relationship, is perfectly normal.

Often, such depression is accompanied by anxiety. Depression and anxiety is the combination that occurs when a person is burnt out from work, for example.

Can anyone within the strictures of a courtroom -- where testimony is often rehearsed and the attorneys do the talking -- determine any of these factors? Obviously not. Not even trained psychologists and psychiatrists would venture such diagnoses.

Personality types and age

There is a wide range of personality types. That a person seems agitated may be nothing more than their having an energetic personality; or possibly trained to that personality in another culture.
A young person will react differently than an older person. A person who has suffered a life-changing injury will have may affects which could be misconstrued as mental illness, especially if they have suffered abuse from their family or in their home.

For a judge to assume that such a person is immature, mentally ill, or dangerous is infantile; the sort of judgments most of us got past in adolescence.

And overlaying all these factors, is the fact that the magistrate or judge has no way of discerning where the parties are in the course of the abusive relationship.

Personality Disorders and the Addiction to Abuse

The nature of an Abuser is to be secretive. This is often described by the Abused as being "two-faced", a Jekyll-and-Hyde personality. The Abuser needs secrecy in order to maintain the facade that they are not abusive.
The goal of the secrecy is to prepare the way for the Abuser to be seen as the Victim; for the Abuser to take on the role of the User/Abused.

The Abuser is usually well liked and respected amongst co-workers and friends.
The Abuser can be likened to an addict that is addicted to abuse. Often the only quickly discernable indication of Abused versus Abuser is that the Abused has moved on to the Rejection phase, and the Abuser is determined -- or better, helpless before their own addiction -- to continue the abuse. (Unfortunately, too often the notorious prejudices of the Australian courts or family law system is where the Abuser chooses to continue the abuse.)

This secrecy may be a combination result of a Personality Disorder. These traits are part of two common diagnoses: Borderline Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Only a professional can determine the difference -- after long periods of observation and therapy.

Yet magistrates condemn people and whole families to lose their freedom of association, freedom of speech, and freedom of movement daily by the dozens on uneducated guesses.
For a judge or magistrate to make these decisions is irrational. They are not qualified, and the courtroom is simply not designed for it.

Psychiatric evaluation in Australia

At the very best, if one party of the other alleges abuse the magistrate should send both parties to psychiatric evaluation.

Usually, this sort of evaluation is only done if abuse is alleged towards the child. Even where the psychiatrists or psychologists determine that there are no indications of abuse, the magistrates rarely adjust their summations in any way.

History

If there is a question of physical abuse, the judge or magistrate may base a decision about abuse on a history of physical violence, of course.

But in most cases, there is no history. There is no record of either party going to the hospital or doctors with bruises or any other signs of abuse.
In most cases, there is no record of the police being called, whether a complaint has been filed or not. This may be the reason that Victorian police are being urged to file Intervention Orders in lieu of a complaint by one party or the other.
Despite the fact that even if the police find the man physically harmed, they will assume that he is the Abuser. The police are instructed to file interim Intervention Orders against the man even if there is no evidence of harm to either party. What reasoning is applied in those cases is beyond understanding.

In the courtrooms, Legal Aid offices, police, and even the courthouse clerks and 000 operators assume the man guilty of a wide range of abusive actions even if no evidence exists; or allegations of such actions have been made.
The police in Victoria are urged to file complaints against the man seemingly to conceal the fact that there is often no history. They are creating an excuse for the blind prejudice in the system.

Conclusions

If an allegation of abuse is made by either party, both parties and any children should be sent immediately for a complete, long-term psychiatric evaluation. The magistrate or judge should not render a judgment in any way, unless they are willing to accept that most of their judgments will be in error.

These errors are made because there is no effective oversight in Australia. The magistracy is subject to no oversight or enforced standards. They are free to exercise their prejudiced, ignorant judgments in any way they choose.
Hopefully someday the government and these magistrates will be held accountable for these abuses of civil power which result in so much suffering and abuses of human rights.

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How can .. ?

(Posted to fathers4equality in response to comments about the daughter suing her father.)

Best evidence is American the lucky devils :)
In Australia we have whatever the Judge will allow: "If it pleases your Honour, may I offer this evidence?". --DanO


Hi Jamie,

If you look at the site where that article is posted, you'll understand why I say that no one knows if he screwed it up at this point.
That is a site that is using the confusion and suffering of children maliciously to support the current anti-male and anti-father political climate. It's not hard to read between the lines. Looking at the write-ups, no children may have even existed. Those were all written by the same person.

It is just as likely the mother was promiscuous personally and with the daughter, and the father's practical judgment has angered the daughter. There is no one who can or should make a quick judgment about what happened there.


As I probably do too often, I can recant my own experience here.

My ex allowed her 14-year old daughter to party until 3-4AM with 18-20+ year old men on school nights. I questioned (my ex) and she told me I didn't understand Australian culture; and should let her decide what was best for her daughter.
When her oldest son pointed out to me that I should do something about it because the daughter had intimated that those were wild parties involving various illegal drugs, I decided to try to put a stop to this stuff. The mother turned on me.
Despite the ugliness around the house that continued for a month or more, the mother stopped allowing the daughter to attend the parties on school nights.
Both mother and daughter held a grudge that never ended.

From that point forward, the daughter "hated" me. I shook it off as just the problems of a new step-father and step-daughter; and the "hate" as an adolescent exaggeration (more a function of an undeveloped vocabulary...)
I had garnered that perspective from a step-parents' reading list I signed up for at the Victorian Library. It reinforced my own thinking.

I tried many times to make amends by offering insight and advice to the mother about what might be best for the daughter, but never directly to the daughter because of the walls the mother enforced. In time, it became idiotic. Any time I mentioned the daughter's name, the mother went off the handle. I even illustrated that to her a few times.

She had found a particularly sensitive issue to use as an excuse for her abuse.

Years later, when I was severely disabled and the mother was being abusive daily, she threw the incident up to me as proof that I hated her daughter.
And at that point in the relationship, the abusive mother had segregated the household to the point the daughter believed I hated her -- despite the fact that nothing in my words or actions indicated it. -- But my words and actions were being interpreted to the daughter by the mother.

What was made up or exaggerated, or dissociated, I will never know.

Neither will any of the courts or legal system, since no one ever bothered to investigate. Or if they did, they never talked to me. If there is an effective legal grounds for suing the government or other agencies, it would probably be that.
How can a magistrate make a judgment on an issue where there has been no investigation?

Read more!

A Question for CSA

(Recounting a real life exchange)

Here's a CSA Question for You All!

In regards the new legislation, how will the CSA view payment arrangements if there is 50/50 everything?

The reason I ask this is, I asked my CSA Mistress (a very young lady), this question: If I have my children for 50% of the time over the whole year, does that mean I don't have to pay child support?

Her answer was, NO! You may still have to pay child support.

I asked "Please Explain?"

She says that if the ex is still drawing money from Centrelink, then it is highly likely I will be required to continue to pay. I said, but I'm on a pension too!

She said, that has no bearing on what my responsibilities are when it comes to paying child support, only the amount I can afford.

I said you have just gone off the subject with your reply. I wasn't asking about responsibility.

So, what you are telling me is that if the ex draws money from Centrelink, regardless of what I am doing, I will pay child support, even if I have the children physically, with all the financial responsibilities that come with that as well, for 50% of the time.

She said yes!

I said, that is not child support!

That is spousal support, or a tax for the govt. to recoup some of it's expenditure.

I asked her if I would be getting any of the family tax benefits?

She said if you have the children for the 50%, then you should get that share of the benefits.

So, I said, why doesn't that follow through with child support?

She couldn't answer!

I ended the conversation.

This is going to be a can of worms, if we go down the 50/50 road and find we are still required to pay child support, on top of all the other expense.

Just one other question: if the mother has been given the lion's share in a property settlement, and within a year we have 50/50, what happens then?

Why should she be allowed to keep the lion's share, when it should then be split down the middle!

I hope someone can help me on these questions.

Read more!

Draft Manifesto

Manifesto

of Parents and Friends for

Progressive Reform of the Family Court System in Australia

Draft 21 June 2006

In the best interests of children of separating parents, we seek the following changes to the Family Court system of Australia (Family Court of Australia, Federal Magistrates Court of Australia, and Family Court of Western Australia).

1. Adoption of a Rebuttable Presumption of Equal Parenting Time. As a presumption, it does not apply where there exists violence of other forms of abuse.

2. Where parents have Equal Parenting Time, there is no need for either parent to pay Child Support regardless of their respective incomes.

3. Where parents do not have Equal Parenting Time, Child Support is provided to the majority resident parent by the minority resident parent to a maximum of $100 per week for the first child, and $50 per week for each additional child, irrespective of the age of the child until the child reaches 18 years of age from which time all Child Support obligations would cease.

This rate would decrease pro rata for the hours the minority resident parent spends with the child. For example, a minority resident parent who spends an average of 21 hours per week with their child would pay $75 per week for the first child. A minority resident parent who spent an average of 63 hours per week would pay $25 per week for the first child.

Child Support payments would not apply to a minority resident parent who is earning $400 per week net or less. For net income $400 to $500 per week, the minority resident would pay a percentage (eg $450 per week they would pay 50% of the required amount, $470 per week they would pay 70% of the required amount) and at $500 or more they would pay the full amount.

Where a minority resident parent has a reduction in income in the $400-$500 per week net range, or similarly an increase, changes to Child Support would apply immediately.

4. With changeovers, parents pick up, they do not drop off. This ensures changeovers are reciprocated, and if any parent is late, the other parent enjoys more time with their child.

5. Residency relates to the location where separation occurs. If one parent moves more than 30 minutes driving from this point then they will be responsible for both pick ups and drop offs. If they move interstate, they will be responsible for airfares during holiday visits.

If both parents move more than 30 minutes drive from the original place of separation, responsibility for (time and costs) is calculated by a ratio equal to the ratio of the respective distances beyond the 30 minute driving limit.

6. Parents who are found to have made false allegations in their Affidavits will be penalized with Community Service (eg 100 hours for false allegations of domestic violence or child abuse).

7. That statistics are made publicly available for the following:

1. Number of incidences of separation in Australia for each year
2. Of these, (1.) the number of incidences of separation involving children
3. Of these, (2.) the percentage resolved without need to go to the Family Court system in Australia.
4. Of these, (3.) the percentage with an Equal Residency outcome.
5. Of those that go to the Family Court system in Australia, the percentage where both parents seek Equal Residency (or more).
6. Of those that go to the Family Court system in Australia, the percentage which result in

• 6.1 Equal Residency 182/3 nights
• 6.2 Shared Residency 146-219 nights but excluding Equal Residency 182/3
• Nights
• 6.3 Major Residency 220-255 nights for the father
• 6.4 Sole Residency 256+ nights for the father
• 6.5 Substantial Residency 110-145 nights for the father
• 6.6 Less Residency 0-109 nights for the father

7. Of those that go to the Family Court system in Australia, the percentage involving chronic domestic violence [and citing gender(s) of the perpetrator(s) ]

8. Of those that go to the Family Court system in Australia, the percentage involving physical or sexual abuse toward the child(ren) [and citing gender(s) of the perpetrator(s) ]

8. That reports of domestic violence or sexual abuse be properly investigated by the police - ie interviewing all parties concerned before an application for a Domestic Violence Order can proceed, and ensuring such reports are not neglected by falling in the crack between the police and the Family Court system.

9. That parents who are being uncooperative, or who are alienating the other parent, or who are psychologically manipulating the child(ren) can be reported by the other parent to the Family Court system and have this report investigated promptly. For parents who are found negligent, they should be penalized with Community Service, and if recalcitrant, risk losing some Residency.

10. That Family Relationship Centres apply the principle of a Rebuttable Presumption of Equal Parenting Time, where both parents want at least 50% time.

11. That it be mandatory for a separating couple to attend up to three mediation sessions at the Family Relationship Centre, each with a duration of four hours at a cost of $20 per hour for each parent after the initial four hours free of charge, before they can consult a solicitor or proceed to the Family Court system. For a parent who does not agree to Equal Parenting when it is sought by the other parent, they risk paying all legal expenses of the other parent should Equal Parenting be granted in the Family Court system.

12. For any parent who feels existing residency orders are not in the best interests of their child(ren), they can oblige the other parent to attend a Family Relationship Centre at a cost to the Applicant of $140 per hour, to reassess these residency arrangements in the context of a Rebuttable Presumption of Equal Parenting Time. If the applicant parent achieves no success in the Family Relationship Centre in drawing up a new Parenting Plan to replace existing orders, they could then have the matter heard in the Family Court system. If the Applicant parent loses, they would then be responsible for the Respondent's legal costs, but if they won, the Respondent would be liable.

13. That a 'substantial change of circumstances' constituting grounds for review of existing orders be adequately and comprehensively defined by the Family Court system.

14. That either parent can review residency arrangements once every four years without having to demonstrate a 'substantial change of circumstances'. When a Parenting Plan is drawn up following FRC mediation, it cannot be revoked or changed by either party unless there is a 'substantial change of circumstances' but it can be reviewed after four years. It can be amended at any time by mutual consent of both parents.

15. That Fathers are automatically awarded contact on Fathers Day and Mothers are automatically awarded contact on Mothers Day whether or not it falls in their contact period, and with no makeup time required (unless they mutually agree otherwise).

16. That if there is no consensus on which family name to use for the child(ren), then boys will take the Father's family name (with the Mother's family name being a middle name only) and girls will take the Mother's family name (with the Father's family name being a middle name only).

17. If a parent is leaving the country with a child under the age of 16, without the other parent, and whether the parent is single or still happily married, that parent must have written consent from the other parent on a form stamped by the Family Court system. (Where the other parent is deceased, or deemed not contactable, or where the wishes of the other parent have been overridden by the Family Court system, the Family Court system can stamp the consent form without the other parent's signature).

___________

For critique and feedback on this draft Manifesto, or if you would like to be involved in its development, contact Geoff Holland at prism@optusnet.com.au with the subject heading 'Manifesto'.
(Reproduced here with the permission of the author, Geoff Holland, from the fathers4equality discussion group on Yahoo)

Read more!

Letter to Damien Carrick

(Reproduced here with the permission of the author, Geoff Holland, from the fathers4equality discussion group on Yahoo)

Below is my feedback to Damien Carrick on the ABC Law Report today. If there is anyone on this forum that could clarify and of these points with solid references to AG Dept. documents or Parliamentary documents, please do !

I have also sent a copy to ag@ag.gov.au as I believe it may be an e-mail address for the Attorney Generals Dept. (I could find no e-mail address on the Attorney Generals Dept website). But I do not hold my breath for a reply.

----------------------------------
Damien Carrick
ABC Radio - Law Report
re Law Report 21 June 2006

Dear Damien,

Thank you for covering Family Law reform. I have been through the Family Court and I am now a committed activist for major reform. The latest reforms I feel have little if any substance.

You say:

"As the title implies, it promotes the idea of shared parenting responsibility by both parents, and a hope that, if possible, kids should spend equal time with both Mum and Dad."

I am beginning to think that the idea that the new Bill promotes the idea that, where possible, kids should spend equal time with Mum and Dad is a myth planted in the media by the AG's Dept to appease the men's lobby, but for which there is no foundation in the new Shared Parenting Bill (which seems to, instead, rehash the 'shared responsibility' line)or in AG press releases or any other AG Dept. documents.

Could you please show me that I am wrong !

Secondly, we were told in the media that the AG's reforms meant that couples had to attend an FRC before they could consult a solicitor, and similarly, solicitors had to advise potential clients that they must first attend an FRC session (of three hours ?) before solicitors could advise them.

But I find nothing of this in the new Shared Parenting Bill or in AG Dept press releases. Nor can I imagine how this would be guaranteed / policed.

Thirdly, I am also led to believe that separating couples do not actually have to attend a three hour session at an FRC, but can attend virtually any mediation session. It was even mentioned in one article (in Time Magazine I believe) that this mediation could be organised by a solicitor - which would just make the whole thing a contradictory farce.

Your program helps de-mystify the Law. Could you please help us on these points. There are many of us out here seeking answers.

The naivety of the FRC experiment is immense.
"Separating couples are encouraged to use the new Family Relationship Centres, but it is not compulsory." from A New Family Law System Fact Sheet 5 Family Relationship Centres http://www.ag.gov.au/family

The two questions that need to be asked are:

1. What incentive is there for Mothers to come to any fair agreement in an FRC when they know they can get majority residency, (along with the perks of Family Payments and Child Support) and majority property if they continue on to the Family Court system ?

2. What incentive is there for the Family Court to change whilst they remain a closed shop - an unaccountable institution which does not publish statistics on its rulings (eg number of cases resulting in equal residency, shared residency etc) ?

Another question I would like to ask is:

Why does the media fall for and peddle the myth of 'substantial change' rather than question it, and why does it not address the real issues ?

Thankyou again,

Sincerely,


Geoff Holland
-----------------------------------

The letter refers to:


ABC / The Law Report
20 June 2006

Preamble:

Family Law: Kids and the New Shared Responsibility Ethos

On July 1 - there is going to be a big shake-up in Australia's Family Law system.

A new Act promotes the idea of shared parenting responsibility and the hope that (if possible) kids should spend equal time with mum and dad.

It also encourages separating couples to draw up a parenting plan at one of 65 Family Relationship Centers which are being set up around the country

Well what does all this mean for kids?

---

Listen Now
Download MP3 (13.5MB)
http://www.abc.net.au/rn/podcast/feeds/lrt_20060620.mp3

Guests:

• Sue Creak, Lawyer with Hertzberg Haydon, Byron Bay
• Steven Ralph, A Director of Mediation, Family Court of Australia
• Linda Dessau, Family Court Judge, Melbourne
• Professor Patrick Parkinsn, Chair of the Family Law Council
• Karen Morris, Deputy CEO, Interrelate
• Nicky Davis, Senior Lawyer, Legal Aid Queensland

Read more!

Equal Justice Foundation

This is a research site, their motto is:
"Our objective is to fix the problem, not the blame."
which is clearly laudible.

The links page is here.

Australian False Memory Association

Australian Paternity Fraud — Handling Liam Magill case and also offer paternity testing.

P.O.Box 685 Deepdene 3103

Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

Email: Cheryl.King@AustralianPaternityFraud.org

CSAclients — A Yahoo! group dealing with the problems of CSA, aka the Collection and Suicide Agency.

Child Wise —Working to prevent and reduce the sexual abuse and exploitation of children in Australia and overseas.

Dads — Victims Of Domestic Violence

Crisis accommodations — Provides short term (up to 21 days) accommodations as well as information and referral services for men and their children who are in a marriage or relationship breakdown situation. For details:

Phone: (02) 6241 0433

6255 0970 (After Hours) or 6258 4216 (After Hours).

Model of domestic violence against men (1999)

Dads In Distress — Funded by the Australian federal government.

Dads On The Air — Voluntary group attempting to help men considering suicide. Radio program airs Monday 9AM till noon on Sydney's 2GLF — 89.3 FM. Press releases, public notices and other material for broadcast can be sent to administration@dadsontheair.com.

Disenfranchised by Kidnap — A special interest group for parents who have had their children stolen in interstate or international kidnap.

DNA Solutions — Paternity testing.

Domestic violence: Violent femmes — Australia. Primarily story of how Peter Olzewski was battered but gives details on how domestic violence is handled in Australia. Also, many references to men's organizations in Australia.

FamilyRules — Family law forum (A Yahoo! group)

Fathers For Family Equity

Joint Parenting Association

Box 7115

West Lakes

South Australia 5021

Email: info@jointparenting.org.au

Joint Parenting Forum — A Yahoo! group.

Lone Fathers Association — an educational and welfare organization devoted to the interests of lone fathers, their friends, relatives, grandparents, extended family, careers and children.

PO Box 492

CANBERRA, ACT 2601

Male Victims — A Yahoo! group dealing with male victims of domestic violence.

Memucan Institute Of Men's Studies (MIOMS) — Men championing patriarchy.

MENDS — Separated men need not lose their shirt, their kids...or their life.

Men's Accommodation and Crisis Service (MAACS) — Based in Canberra, provides short term crisis accommodation (up to 21 days) as well as information and referral services for men and their children who are in a marriage or relationship breakdown situation.

Telephone: (02) 6241 0433 or after hours: 6255 0970 or 6258 4216

Men's Confraternity W.A. — To serve men, the family, and the community.

PO Box 422

Victoria Park

PERTH WA 6100

(+61) 08 9470 1734

Men's issues — Victoria, Australia

Mensline — A 24-hour-a-day, 7-days-a-week hotline for men in trouble. Gets far more calls than they can handle at present.

Hotline: 1300 78 99 78

Men's Line Australia

PO Box 33

North Melbourne, Victoria 3051

Telephone: (03) 9326 8522

Facsimile: (03) 9329 8826

Email: talkitover@menslineaus.org.au

Men's Media Network

mensplace

Men's Rights Agency — Australia. MRA has created a national network of dedicated professionals - solicitors, barristers, counsellors, psychologists, accountants, financial advisers and other consultants, who have a special understanding of the issues from a man' s/father's point of view.

P.O. Box 28, Waterford,

Oueensland 4133 Australia

Telephone: 07 3805 5611

Facsimile: 07 3200 8769

Email: support@mensrights.com

Menucan Institute of Men's Studies — Exists to promote the virtues of traditional roles for men and women, and to demonstrate their value to society.

Murringu Men's Centre — Provides free information, referral and peer support, particularly for men in crisis.

PO Box 417

Richmond, Victoria, Australia, 3121

Telephone: (03) 9428 2899 12 noon to 9 PM, Monday through Friday

STD Freecall 1800 065 973

Email: vnet@vicnet.net.au

Non-Custodial Parents Party — A political party attempting to change family law and the child support system.

Nuance — International journal of family policy and related issues.

OzyDADS — Centered in Freemantle. (We were deeply saddened to learn that Lionel Richards died of a heart attack on August 6, 2005. His indomitable spirit and courage will be sorely missed.)

PAS 2nd Wives Club

Paternity Fraud (dnaB4Upay) — Paternity testing may just save you up to 18 years of child support payments.

Self-Represented Fathers

Status of Fathers

Stop Parental Alienation Syndrome

Sydney Men's Phone Line — Has a broad contact list for men's organizations and services in Sydney.

Telephone: (02) 9979 9909

Read more!

Dads in Distress links

Dads in Distress is an international organization See the link to their site on the right panel

Australian Family Support Services Association (AFSSA Inc.)
Australian Family Support Services Association is a community based Nonprofit Association that aims to provide broad based assistance to Individual and Community Support Services/Groups with particular concern for the effects of Family Breakdown. These aims will be met by providing services such as; Newsletters, Website, Brochures, Self Help Kits, Referrals to Professional Assistance, Education/Information Seminars, Documented Research Findings/Productions and Telephone Assistance.
www.afssa.org.au

Centrelink
Centrelink can help with financial assistance, child care costs finding a job.
If you already receive a payment from Centrelink, you should contact Centrelink to advise of any changes to your circumstances to ensure you are receiving your correct entitlement.
Ask Centrelink for the booklet 'Have you recently separated or divorced' which provides information on the range of payments and entitlements you may be eligible for, services that are available to you, and your rights and obligations.
www.centrelink.gov.au

Child Support Agency
CSA provides information to help parents manage their financial child support responsibilities following separation or divorce. The CSA is part of the Australian Commonwealth Department of Family and Community Services.
www.csa.gov.au

CSA Calculator
Help with all CSA and Family Law matters.
FREE Calculator for the new and old formulas.
www.csacalc.com

Dads in Distress
Dads in Distress is a dedicated support group of men (in Australia) whose immediate concern is to stem the present trend of male suicide due to the trauma of divorce or separation...
Current statistics that have been published, indicate too many men will take their own lives in preference to facing family, friends and importantly their own children with the failure of the relationship...
We aim to prevent this incidence from occurring by showing the men and the community at large that someone really cares...
Phone: 1300 853 437
www.dadsindistress.asn.au

dads 'N' kids
dads 'N' kids is a collection of links created for divorced and separated fathers in Australia and their kids.
It contains helpful information to cope with issues after marriage and relationship breakdown.
Funny and creative tips to plan activities with your kids.
www.nor.com.au/community/dids/index.html

Dads On The Air
Dads On The Air is a successful community radio show based in Sydney, Australia and specifically targetted at fathers and those who care about them. It is an entertaining mix of news, public information, political commentary, wide ranging interviews and satire bound up with all the sounds of DJ Uncle Buck's remarkable music collection.
www.dadsontheair.com

Depression & Overdose Prevention in Youths and Teens
Suicide Prevention information service with suicide and depression information, statistics and help Australia wide.
www.suicideprevention.com.au

Family Assistance Office
The Family Assistance Office giving families greater choice about Commonwealth Government payments for children and integrated family assistance.
www.familyassist.gov.au

Family Court Australia
Homepage of the Family Court of Australia web site.
www.familycourt.gov.au

Family Court Australia - Brochures & Booklets
Sources of information about the law, proceedings and requirements in the Family Court of Australia. The brochures & booklets have been prepared by the Family Court of Australia. The prescribed brochures are provided in accordance with the Family Law Rules 2004.
www.familycourt.gov.au/presence/connect/www/home/publications/client_brochures/brochures/

Family Court of Australia - Resolving or Determining Family Disputes
Children's Matters - The Family Court encourages parents to try to reach agreement on the arrangements for their children after separation. This section provides information on some of the issues involved in children's matters after separation.
www.familycourt.gov.au/presence/connect/www/home/guide/before/children/

Family Law
This site is provided by the Commonwealth Attorney General's Department and is designed to give you quick and easy access to Australian family law system and referral information.
www.familylaw.gov.au/accesspoint/

Family Law Section
The Family Law Section (FLS) of the Law Council of Australia is the professional association for practising family lawyers in Australia. Its membership consists of more than 2,000 family law practitioners, from all Australian States and territories.
www.familylawsection.org.au

Fatherhood Foundation
This website has been prepared to inspire you to catch the vision for excellence in fathering in Australia and to consider supporting the Fatherhood Foundation.
www.fathersonline.org

Fathers After Divorce
Fathers After Divorce - building a new life and becoming a successful separated parent.
- Book by Michael Green QC
www.fathersafterdivorce.com

International Men's Health Week - Men's Health Week Australia
Men and boys face different health concerns that women and girls, and IMHW is an opportunity to both acknowledge these differences and look for ways to improve the health and wellbeing of men and boys.
Dates: 2006 June 12-18, 2007 June 11-17
www.menshealthweekaustralia.org

Joint Parenting
This Joint Parenting Forum supports the Rebuttable Presumption of Equal Shared Joint Parenting upon family breakdown and parental separation.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/JointParenting

Law On Order
This forum seeks not to provide 'Legal Advice' but to offer a platform and an Forum whereby ordinary citizens may now obtain information and the knowledge required freely, to plan, assess and analyse legal problems and issues prior to instructing a lawyer, if they should decide to proceed with litigation.
www.law-on-order.com

Leving's Divorce Magazine
Leving's Divorce Magazine pledges to provide challenging and compelling content for the modern divorced man. Our magazine will seek to:
EDUCATE them about the issues that affect their lives, EMPOWER them to protect their rights, ENRICH their lives with insightful advice and guidance from experts, ENTERTAIN them with articles that explore their entire world. Unlike other men's magazines, we speak directly to divorced men. We go beyond the fantasy world chronicled by the typical menís magazine to explore the real world of the modern man. In that way we are the first and only men's lifestyle magazine for 'real life' men. Men with mortgages. Men with children. Men with substance.
www.levingsdivorcemagazine.com

Lone Fathers
The Lone Fathers Association, a national Peak Body, is an educational and welfare organisation devoted to the interests of lone fathers, their friends, relatives, grandparents, extended family, carers and children.
www.lonefathers.com.au

Mallee Family Care - Towards a more caring Community
Mallee Family Care is a private, non-profit agency delivering a wide range of both universal and specialist services to children, families and individuals regardless of race, gender age or disabilities.
The Men and Family Relationships Program is targeted at men at a range of relationship stages, including pre- and post-separation, and at particular life and relationship transitions, such as following the birth of a first child or the breakdown of a relationship. It is designed to take men's particular help-seeking and problem solving strategies into account.
www.malleefamilycare.com.au

Manhood
Better men for a better world.
www.manhood.com.au

McKenzie Friends
The McKenzie Friends is a new service that provides court / tribunal support and trial consulting for people in the courts and government organisations. They specialize in helping people who are representing themselves.
www.mckenziefriends.com.au

Mends
MENDS is developer of the breakthrough program Strategies for Separated Men, a 12 week psycho-educational (practical adult-learning based upon proven psychological principles) program designed to address mens' acute needs in the traumatic period after a significant relationship has ended.
www.mends.com.au

Mens Health
Men's Health Information & Resource Centre designs, develops and supports research and projects which contribute to the enhancement of the health & well-being of men and boys in a variety of contexts:
the workplace, family relationships, access to health and social support services.
http://menshealth.uws.edu.au

Mensline Australia
The mission of Men's Line Australia is to provide relevant and accessible telephone counselling, information and referral in order for men to enhance their relationship capacities and manage the challenges encountered when faced with disruptions to their family life or their primary relationships. It also provides support and information for women and family members who are concerned about the welfare of their partners, husbands or fathers.
www.menslineaus.org.au

OzyDads Network
The OzyDads Network is dedicated to promoting shared parenting and to correcting the false stereotype images while exposing the Anti-Father gender bias in the Family Law arena and putting the fathers back in to families. All around the westernized world the Family Law has become a Multi Billion $$$ industry which berates it's victims and is self serving of it's practitioners.
www.ozydads.com

Parental Alienation is Child Abuse
This site was created by an alienated parent who has felt the pain, in an effort to try and help both the children and the targeted parent, and to help stop or fight the guilty.
www.parentalalienation.com.au

Parents Without Partners
Parents Without Partners provides single parents and their children with an opportunity for enhancing personal growth, self-confidence and sensitivity towards others by offering an environment for support, friendship and the exchange of parenting techniques.
www.parentswithoutpartners.com.au

SAMSSA - Service Assisting Male Survivors of Sexual Assault
SAMSSA provides support, information and referral services to male survivors of sexual assault and their partners.
www.samssa.org.au

Single with Children
Single with Children is an exciting non-profit organisation, run by volunteers, that provides social activities and functions for single parents and their children within the Sydney and Central Coast areas.
All single parents, both male and female, are welcome to join Single with Children. Membership numbers approximately 300 adults and 500 children. Single with Children is a friendly, fun organisation, which holds both adult and family functions where parents can meet every week.
www.singlewithchildren.com.au

Stepfamily Association of Victoria Inc.
Stepfamilies today are becoming a prominent part of Australian family life. It is currently estimated that one in four Australian families is a stepfamily.
The Stepfamily Association of Victoria is a self-help, non-profit organisation offering support, education, and resources to stepfamilies. It provides assistance to families that may be either contemplating or living in a married or informal stepfamily situation.
www.stepfamily.org.au

Stepfamily Zone
The Stepfamily Zone is an Australian website providing information and support to stepfamilies. We believe that Stepfamilies can work and be successful.
www.stepfamily.asn.au

Sydney Men's Network
Articles about the network, men and peer counselling work with men.
www.peerleadership.com.au

Talk it over
Mens Counselling
www.talkitover.info

The Shack
The Shack provides information, resources, message boards and support to all involved with Borderline Personality Disorder.
www.mjtacc.com

The Step Stop
Stepfamily members often feel alone with their struggles and frequently believe that there is nowhere to turn for support, a listening ear, advice or assistance. The Step Stop is designed to give members of this type of family an opportunity to tell their stories, ask questions of others, voice their concerns, share their ideas and connect with people around the globe who have similar experiences.
www.thestepstop.com

Read more!

Domestic Violence against Men - graphic

Click on the image and enlarge to read.

Read more!

Yahoo Groups

Despite being a skilled internet researcher, when I searched for support groups for abused men online, there was very little to find. Literally, nothing in Australia only 3 years ago.
Hopefully, this list will save someone else the weeks of despair and frustration I felt.

The legal and social pressures on abused men derive from the struggles of Family Rights and Mens' Rights. The war on fathers has caused innumerable casualties of abused men who will never have their rights recognized; and disabled men of all ages, skill levels, and experience who are discarded.
The blatant hate-mongering towards fathers in Australia, as illustrated in this site funded by the Australian Government and the Univ of New South Wales, has come to include the issues of abused men and disabled men.

I've tried to include active groups and avoid those with few members that are inactive. If anyone knows of a group, website or blog that should be included, please post it as a Comment to this post.

Many these Yahoo groups have websites. They all have links to local or regional support groups that may or may not exist. The Australian government only funds support groups for women.
The facts speak for themselves:
There are 2500+ funded shelters for women across Australia;
there are none for men, despite the many studies that show at least 40% of domestic violence is by women, on their partners or children.
Many studies show the women are more vicious in their attacks.

Australia has no mental health system. The answer for men is simply go back to work (and pay taxes.) What system there is is for women by women, and it is crude and rudimentary, essentially a pill dispensing scheme. The assumption of guilt by allegation applies in the mental health system.

Fathers and Mens Rights in Australia

Here are two very active groups:

Fathers 4 Equality Australia Fathers 4 Equality Related Links page. About a third of these links are not active. An old copy of the active links can be found here.

Mens Rights Agency, Australia Sue and Reg Price offer support and training on dealing with the Family Courts in Brisbane. Their program offers a model for support agencies across Australia.

Fathers 4 Equality, Melbourne The Melbourne working group for father4equality, Australia.


Most of the groups below come to me by referral. Without personal experience, I can only post them here for reference.

CSA Clients The CSA (AKA) the Collection and Suicide Agency often leaves a trail of devastation in it's wake. ...

OzyDads A small piece of Cyber World is dedicated to addressing the Anti-Father bias in the Family Law...

Family Rules FAMILY LAW REFORM Family Friendly news and info exchange providing published articles, reports and views expressed in letters to the editors of the international tabloids about the bias and injustice of the Family Law arena.

SRLs Self Represented Fathers LITIGATION should only be a last resort after all attempts at (mutually agreeable) resolution by personal mediation have failed. ...

Joint Parenting This Joint Parenting Forum supports the Rebuttable Presumption of Equal Shared Joint Parenting upon family breakdown and parental separation.

Fathers and Mens Rights International

Battered Husbands Support




Abuse and Relationships


BPD411 is a list for family members and others in relationships with someone who has traits of borderline personality disorder - BPD.

Domestic Violence Mens Support This group is pro-male and is for all men who are victims of domestic violence. It was firstly set up for men who were hit by women but everyone is welcome. The idea is that we help, support, and encourage each other; and in turn then we get the same back. This is where the healing starts.

TARGETED BY A PSYCHOPATH/NARCISSIST? Are You Walking on Eggshells with Jekyll and Hyde? You are not alone...

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Uni of Sydney is paying bloggers

Citizen journalism or blogging, has become an increasingly important element in business, education, and daily life for many. The opinions and insights given by individuals is becoming the news that is reported, often a few days after it appears in blogs, in the major newspapers and broadcast media.

TIM Spencer is paid to blog. So are nine other students at the University of Sydney, which has embarked on a big blog adventure.

"We got hundreds of applications, it was a massive recruitment task," Joanna Cohen says.

She's blog mistress of Sydney Life, where freshers and old hands put a personal spin on campus life for curious, even apprehensive school-leavers. Like most blogs it has regular, journal-like entries with a comment thread. But the home page banner carries the university shield and Cohen, Sydney's marketing information manager, vets every post before it's uploaded.

Can big institutions tame the free-spirited blog format?

The answer to the question above might be a careful rephrasing: Do big institutions want to tame the free-spirited blog format?

Obviously, some privacy has to be respected. Copyrights can be a tricky business when it comes to publicly funded institutions and students. Publicized information, such as from newspapers and radio, come under the allowances of "fair use" of articles.

Public officials are always subject to scrutiny by name.
Does that include officials of fully-funded school?
What effect does partial funding have on the privacy of officials?

Does a university want to teach the power of individual opinion and freedom of speech? .. or does it want to be an example of censorship?

So far, blogging is the voice of the people. It is being heard in all the right places.

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Matthieu Carriere crucified himself

Mathieu Carriere let himself be crucified on Saturday in front of the Federal Ministry of the Justice in Berlin, Germany

Pictures:
www.vafk-sbh.de/Berlin200606.html
www.vaeter-aktuell.de/aktionen/2006-Berlin/Bilder-Pool/

More pictures comming soon.

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Aussie Courtship Pointers

IN GENERAL
1. Never take an open stubby to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them.
3. It's tacky to take an esky to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it's rude to take your Ute and trailer to the funeral.

DINING OUT
1. When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to bruise the wine.
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
1. A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Don't allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners are.

PERSONAL HYGIENE
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in private, using one's OWN Ute keys.
2. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money.
3. Extensive use of deodorant can only delay bathing by a few days.
4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no; it alters the taste of finger foods and if you are a woman it can draw attention away from your jewellery.

DATING
1. Always offer to bait your date's hook - especially on the first date.
2. Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you ever since I read that stuff on the dunny door two years ago."
3. Establish with her parents what time she's expected back. Some will say 11:00 PM, others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it's the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

THEATRE ETIQUETTE
1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the movie ends.
2. Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.

WEDDINGS
1. Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than five seconds may cause a drop in your popularity. (Excessive use of the tongue is also considered out of place)
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A tracksuit with a cummerbund and a clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for the occasion.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if your gun's loaded and the roo's in your rifle sight.
2. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct
tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can, it's impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.

(posted to the fathers4equality Yahoo forum)

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