Little twists

These governments have too much money.

Based on the new allotments, each red bellied parrot is worth $32,000. (Most working Australians will probably wish the government thought they were worth that much. They do. Look at your tax bill...) These folks in Canberra are struggling to find ways to give back the taxes.
You'd think someone up there would remember Ronald Reagan, and just stop collecting the taxes so people could make up their own minds.
I'm no fan of Ronnie Rocketman, but I'm not fan of the government controlling people's lives through taxes either. And it feels a little funny for me to be quoting anything called a "right-wing think tank" but here goes. (from The Australian Institute website, newsletter No 44 Sept 2005)

For several years now, the right-wing think tank, the Centre for Independent Studies (CIS), has invited Australians to celebrate Tax Freedom Day – the day on which ‘we finish paying for the Government’s spending and we start to work for ourselves’.

Although there are several ways of calculating Tax Freedom Day, the method used by the CIS involves dividing per capita tax revenue by per capita Gross Domestic Product (GDP), and then multiplying that by the number of days in the year. For 2004/ 05, tax revenues constituted approximately 32 per cent of GDP, meaning it was equivalent to 118 days of output, giving us a Tax Freedom Day that fell on 29 April.

Tax Freedom Day has been getting later and later each year as the tax share increases. The CIS wants us to believe this is necessarily a bad thing, notwithstanding the fact that, as the day has moved forward in the calendar, we have witnessed rising living standards, higher literacy and education rates and longer life expectancy.

So if you're wondering what you're really worth to the governments of Australia, total your income up to April 29th, and that's how you compare with a red-bellied parrot.

There's a great cartoon in the Herald Sun today: Two red bellied parrots sitting on top of a nest made of hundred dollar bills. There's $32,000 each for just being red bellied parrots. Then $14,000 for their new home (nest). Each of their three baby parrots is worth $3000. And then if they were to move their nest somewhere, the government will kick in another $5000.
Seems like I missed something, but you get the idea.

Pilot Progam

I read today that the Howard government is running a pilot program in NSW to offer $5000 for people to relocate when they find work. The opposition and some of the coalition members comment they think it should be a more realistic $10,000.
The program will expand to Victoria if it is "successful" in NSW. (You gotta wonder how they define "successful", but ...)
Reading it made my head spin.

This is an economy which claims a 4% or so unemployment rate. Now, by the Keynesian economics I studied, that should be an economy that is dangerously overheating -- on the verge of runaway inflation. And the recent interest rate rises, even if they are only 1/4 of 1%, would indicate something like that, too.
The more it costs for money, the less money will be used. The less money is used, the slower the economy. -- That's the basis of how a central bank and government manage an economy.
So why is this same government handing out $5000 (or maybe $10,000!??) to get more people into the workforce? That would just fuel inflation. (It puts more money into motion.)
It comes down to: Are you willing to trade quality of life and lifestyle for a job? -- if the government bribes you?

If that seems fundamentally silly, another good question comes up quickly: Why does this government has so much money it can to bribe people to work?
Aww, that one's not so hard: More work means more tax revenue.
Taxes are already giving the government so huge a surplus it is trying to find ways to give it back, ergo -- bribes for work.

Spin, spin, spin ...

Read more!

Cleaning up a little

Talked to a senior psyche nurse today. We both agreed that the mental health system in Australia was non-existant.
She'd been trained as a Level 2 psyche nurse over 18 years ago. It had taken her nearly 3 years to get her certification, and she was still proud of it.
Turning to me, she said: "Do you know what the average age of a psyche nurse is in Australia today?" I didn't. "45. -- The young ones are trained in 3-6 months, and once they get a look at what's in store for them, they bail out."
I said I wasn't surprised. We were both disgusted at these 90-day wonders.
John Howard has allocated $1.8 billion over the next 5 years for mental health, I said. We both said in chorus: "That's nothing." and chuckled.

Funny how things come together at times.
Her ex quit his job as a train driver because he saw three men step in front of the train. I mentioned the recent report from CONNEX (indicating 37 men each month step in front of a train in Victoria alone because of problems with the family court system.)
Then she told me she had broken up with him about 18 years ago.

She told the story of going to see a court-recommended mediator who, after about 10-15 minutes closed her notebook and said, "How did you stay with this ******** so long? -- Let's go have some coffee."
Because of her nursing and psyche training, she was flabbergasted. She knew the mediator had done something completely unprofessional and unethical -- clearly taking sides and even labelling one side negatively. All she could do was laugh, "This was what I was paying $200 an hour for?"
We were both disgusted at the mediator's actions.

Garage cleaning

It took me more than a year to be able to look through the stuff in the garage. Most of it was salvaged when I was removed from my house. Up til now when I tried to look through it, my eyes teared uncontrollably, the shaking in my hands soon made my guts unsteady, and I just closed the door again.
There was one box with my name on it, part of the stuff I'd packed getting ready to sell the house. Looking through it, I found a few things I'd written off as gone forever: business card wallet, a CD carrier with software and music, and a pile of old office supplies and paperwork.

Anger Management course

Sitting down in my room with a pile of old paperwork, I found the pamphlet for an 'Anger Management for Women' course I'd tried to get my ex to take.
In all Australia, this was the only class that at least implied it dealt with women and anger management. This was months before she began the effort to extort a settlement. I talked to her about it, describing her recent actions and attitudes as evidence she might find it helpful. I was trying to be tactful, but firm. She said she'd think about it. I let it go at the time.
In a couple of days, she started telling me I had an anger problem. -- So much for that attempt at something constructive.

I was glad to see I hadn't lost the Bach CD. Sitting there listening to strings, I looked over the pamphlet, then decided to take see if the organization had a website now. Their offices are in the Melbourne CBD, but the pamphlet didn't indicate a website.
She shouldn't have been worried about taking the course.
As I looked over the Lifeworks site, I found the same anti-male prejudice as everywhere else in government funded operations.

Sitting there, I thought about the conversation again, and how we had both wondered how much of Howard's $1.8 billion would go to the mirror. She and I had both had a chuckle about the Bracks administration icon being a mirror -- because he spends millions to tell people he is looking into things.
I'd guess about half over the 5 years, based on traditional political spending habits in Australia.

Read more!

First sunny days of Spring

The first sunny days of Spring are not conducive to great plans, or even not-so-great plans -- especially not with a beach nearby.

The sky over Melbourne cleared in the early afternoon. A lunch at the beach turned into a walk in the cool water and a lazy sun bake watching the people wander by. Some seemed to have a sense of purpose. Most were just faking it, I think.

Well, at least the day isn't a total loss. I got a lunch date in The City when I get back to California.

Read more!

Australian Sample Parenting Plan

As part of another project, a friend sent me a copy of the first case published under the new Family Court of Australia procedures. It's just an interim order, and not really ready for publication since there are a few identifiers still in place. I've been told that the courts do this every once in a while, then quickly make amendments. As it stands, the courts are in breach of s 121, the boogey man of men's groups across Australia.
Looking it over, I thought to myself that I'd seen this stuff before...
Then I remembered Mike Green's emphatic statements from an email: Parenting plans are useless. It's all about the COURT ORDERS! (his emphasis)
And here they are, in the interim court orders, -- a parenting plan.

Click here to see Mary's Plan. The plan is designed for Australia although the site is in the UK.

Read more!

John Murtari update 30 Aug 2006

Some aussie friends chided me once about the spirit of America. They wanted to see something happen before they would even look at or think about things. One, in particular, said that aussies think all Americans are cowards.
Here is the real life and real time story of John Murtari. He embodies the gentle spirit of America, held strong in their beliefs, and willing to die for the things they believe in.
If that is cowardice, I could be bitter and ask, "Where is the Australian willing to suffer to end injustice?"

Is it too hard to tie purple ribbons and to take pictures? This does not belong in a "too hard bin."

PD

(reproduced here by request)

Posted by: "Peter Burns" dad4justice@yahoo.com.au dad4justice
Mon Aug 28, 2006 11:16 pm (PST)

Dear Teri

Having been locked as a animal for nothing more than being a loving dad to two stolendaughters I can relate and feel the hurtful pain of prison .
It's better to be defeated on principle than to win on lies .

in solidarity John - dad4justice

On 8/29/06, Teri <shared.parenting.works@gmail.com> wrote: A Day In The Life: Hunger Striking Civil Rights Activist Inmate John Murtari August 28, 2006
by Teri Stoddard
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The following message was written by John Murtari on August 20, the day before doctors removed his feeding tube. He learned on Wednesday they would not be reinserting it as planned. He immediately resumed his hunger strike; no food or liquid, just enough water to keep his mouth moist.

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John sounded weak on Friday, and I haven't heard from him as expected this morning. I pray he's in court today.
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A Day in Jail - Sunday 8/20
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It's about 0530 AM when the guard opens the cell door and tells me it's time to shave. I had to sign up the night before. He gives me a single edge disposable razor and a small paper cup filled with shaving cream.
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I bring my plastic chair into the bathroom and sit down in front of the sink. I slowly wash my face and am careful to avoid the feeding tube. It's taped to my nose and goes in via my left nostril. The last tube was in my right nostril and used to move freely.
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This tube has been in since Wednesday and is jammed tight. It hurt going in and the Doctor said my nasal passages were more constricted on that side. The sinus pressure is always there, but the discomfort of swallowing is much worse.
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I slowly wash and then spread the shaving cream on my neck, below my beard. As I slowly pull the razor I remember a couple of guards in the post asking me if I was sure I wanted to shave, that I look exhausted.
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I have kept it up, every other day. I keep it up in response to my Air Force training for survival in prisoner environments. Keep yourself clean and dignified. Stick to a daily routine. I'm trying.
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After shaving, I slide the razor under the cell door. The guard will pick it up later. I go back to bed. It is about 6 AM, another hour till breakfast. I do have the luxury of a hospital bed.
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I have the head very elevated to keep the acid down. Since the tube goes down into the stomach, it prevents a small value from closing that keeps stomach contents out of the esophagus.
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I can't sleep on my back because of discomfort from the tube. The best I can do is my side. I don't have a pillow. What I have is a towel I fold up near my head. To make it softer I cover it with a T-shirt.
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I'm exhausted as I curl up on my side. I make the sign of the Cross, put my hands together and pray. I've rediscovered a sequence of prayers that I used to always say in bed when I was growing up at home. The Our Father - The Hail Mary - The Act of Contrition.
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The memories come back of when I was a kid. It was a big house and there were always plenty of strange noises at night. I would pull the sheets over my head and pray, "God, keep me safe!" The prayer is not too different now. I want to just quit and tell them to pull this tube out of my throat. Can't I just quit now? I pray for Faith & Strength. I pray for freedom.
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It's hard to get comfortable. I have to be careful not to snag the tube - ouch! I think I get a little sleep before they call, "Breakfast trays are here."
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This is a hospital ward. The cells open into a common area that has a small TV and chairs along with tables where we have our meals.
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I get my tray. It has cereal and a piece of coffee cake. A small orange juice (4 oz) and some 1% milk (8 oz). The juice and milk is all I will have. I heat them up in a small microwave oven - it's the only warm food I get. The tube feedings are all cold.
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The guard is tracking what I eat. I have to sit at the table for a while to be tempted by the food. When I'm done, some of the other prisoners I know can finish my tray - they like that.
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After breakfast, I go back to my cell and brush my teeth. At 0800 we have to lock-in to our cells till 0830 everyday. I sit on my bed and read a selection from the Book of Psalms in a Bible I was given by Jail Minister. They help prisoners with a lot of little things that can be very difficult when you are in Jail. During a previous sentence I found myself in Jail on Christmas - they made sure we all get a little gift. A clean pair of socks, a peppermint stick and a few candy bars - it was greatly appreciated! They are a wonderful group of people.
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I read the Psalms slowly, I can relate to the cry for help, for justice, for protection. I'm also thankful for all I have - especially a son who loves me very much.
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Because it is Sunday there is a change in routine. The guard calls for those who had signed up for Catholic services. If you want to go to services on Sunday, you have to sign up on Thursday, no exceptions.
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The service is held in a large common area located on the first floor of the jail. There are about 50-60 prisoners there. I think only about 10 are practicing Catholicism. It's unfortunate, but most of them are just there for something to do. Maybe to see friends from other areas of the jail. I'm sure the Priest and the other volunteers hosting the services know that. They are trying to spread Faith and you never know when the moment comes and someone is listening.
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After the service it is back to our cell area, called a POD. Lunch trays arrive around 1100. I just take the 8 oz. Milk off my tray and warm it up. Swallowing is uncomfortable. We are locked in to our cells again between 12 and 1. Again, I take out my Bible and read more Psalms.
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A little while later I hear the squeak of an IV stand and I know one of the nurses are coming to feed me. They open my cell and I sit at a table and uncoil the feeding tube from where it usually hangs over my neck.
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They first use a big syringe to put some air through it while listening to my stomach with a stethoscope. That confirms proper placement. Then they pour 2 cans of Carnation Instant Breakfast into a bag, hang it from the cart and connect it to the tube. It takes about 20-30 minutes to drop in the 500 ml of liquid. I just sit there. There is no taste at all.
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When done I'm careful not to lie down or the fluid could flow up my esophagus. They tell me to wait about an hour. The feeding normally happens 4 times a day; 0900, 1300, 1800, and 2200.
I do a little recreational reading in the afternoon and also make trips to our rec yard.
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It is concrete on every side and opens only on one side to the outdoors. The lower half has translucent glass - so we can see directly outside. The upper half is a tight chain link. You can see the sky and feel the sun and the wind.
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We get locked in again at 1430-1515. That is for shift change and the evening crew comes on duty.
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There is a telephone we can use but it only places collect calls and the rates are not cheap. The jail also has an internal store system called Commissary. They carry a wide selection of food and snack items, personal hygiene, and stationery and stamps. If you are arrested with money, that goes into your jail account. Family can drop off cash at the jail or money orders by mail are accepted.
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The jail food is okay, but there is not a lot of quantities. Some people order a lot of food every week. The jail keeps the profit from sales.
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When the evening shift comes on they bring our mail. I usually get 3-4 letters each day and it is great reading the words of support.
They help remind me of why I am here.
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Dinner trays come around 1700. All I have is a cup of Kool-Aid that is served. Again, I heat it up in the microwave. Swallowing has become more difficult and the tube more uncomfortable. If I try to lie down I can sense acid in my throat even hours after a feeding.
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We lock-in again between 1800-1900. Again, I brush my teeth and do ",0] ); D(["ce"]); //–>reading from the Psalms. I normally also try to exercise in my cell during the lock-in following our meals. But the discomfort from the tube is just too much. To avoid the pain of swallowing I just let the saliva build up in my mouth and spit it into toilet paper.
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In the evening I try to relax and distract myself for a while. A preseason football game provides the best relief.
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At 2200 we lock in for the night. I just had my feeding and don't even try to lie down. Sometimes I have more luck lying on one side versus the other — but it doesn't matter tonight.
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I get up to look at the clock, it's 2 AM, it's going to be a long night!
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John Murtari
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John's address in jail changes, you can get updates here. Today it's:
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John Murtari
POD 5A-9
555 South State Street
Syracuse, NY 13202

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Posted in Vox Populi, Teri Stoddard at 3:25 pm by Teri Stoddard | Permalink | Comments

--
"Which feminist along the way forgot to read the manual?" - http://feminist4fathers.mensnewsdaily.com

"Children deserve fully functioning, natural, loving, dedicated relationships with both of their parents, equally, in and out of marriage, whenever possible. Shared parenting works." - http://www.sharedparentingworks.org

Purple Ribbon Campaign For Equal Parenting - Upload your photo to Flickr with the tag "purple ribbon campaign" or send it to me. Join our Frappr map! - http://www.frappr.com/familylawreformadvocatesandactivists

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Mens Rights Agency Report

Sue Price of the Mens Rights Agency compiled a report in June 2003 called:

Just who is assaulting our children?

The report, compiled from numerous studies across Australia and supported by international data from the UK and US, is startling, eye-opening, and .. a shockah!
(Each statement and conclusion in the report is supported by research citations in the bibliography at the end of the report.)

Since Blogger seems to be having some sort of internal server problems, I'll just post a couple of interesting quotes for now.

Sociologist Bettina Arndt commented in a recent article

“It hasn't helped that so many professionals remain wilfully ignorant of the statistical realities. International research now shows that less than 1 per cent of children are sexually abused by their fathers. So it is shocking that a recent survey commissioned by the Department of Family and Community Services showed 35 per cent of female health, education and welfare professionals believe up to 24 per cent of fathers abuse their children.”

Ms Arndt has written extensively on this subject for The Age. Her commentaries can be found here. Further from the report:

Domestic Violence:

Magistrates in both NSW and Queensland have identified the misuse of domestic violence orders to gain an advantage in Family Court proceedings.

Anecdotal evidence supplied to MRA by police officers and court staff, who are scared to reveal their identity, believe that only 5 per cent of DV applications are genuine.

It is not in the best interests of the domestic violence industry to acknowledge the level of female on male abuse for that would destroy the myth that has been created i.e. only men are perpetrators and only women victims.

The anecdotal evidence cited above is supported, at this point also anecdotally, by the results from the Family Court of Australiareforms. When faced with a 'Put up or shut up." from both the federal magistrates and the opposing counsels, about 75% of abuse allegations disappear.
Previously, such allegations would have derailed the court process for years.

In Australia, the most probable abusers are women (42%), as opposed to men (4%). This fact flies in the face of the assumptions which drive the horrid prejudices of the legal and social system, especially in Victoria under AG Rob Hulls -- where the courts have created the statistic that 87% of men are abusers.

When will leaders move to charge false allegations of abuse and intimate partner violence for what it is: perjury, abuse (of the other person), contempt of court and an effort to pervert the course of justice, child abuse, and attempted extortion? Soon, I hope, because every case is a drop of poison on the future of the country.
Despite the attitude expressed as "You go to court to lie." that permeates the Australian consciousness, these people should go to jail. It cannot be reasonably construed that Australians want to distrust their courts and government.

And when will the leaders of the psychological and legal professions move to punish those who instigate and coach such crimes?
Any professional -- mediator, psychologist, social worker, or lawyer -- who coaches a client to lie to the courts should be publicly exposed, and stripped of their license to practice their profession. Ideally, they should be looking at heavy fines and jail terms.
The roads should be opened for civil action to recoup for libel and slander, supported by the prosecution of criminal charges.

Emotional, neglect and physical abuse:

An Australian Institute of Health and Welfare report found 22% of physical abuse, 32% emotional abuse, 41% neglect and only 5% sexual abuse comprised Queensland’s substantiated cases of child abuse.

The report also found that 24% of substantiated abuse occurred in two parent natural families, 22 % in two parent other (blended) families, 42% in single female parent families and 4% in single male parent families.

Other Australian states and overseas figures provide similar results.

These figures reflect not the mass of allegations of abuse, fueled by the blind ignorant prejudice largely in the state courts and legal system, but substantiated cases of emotional abuse, neglect, and physical abuse of children.

Sexual abuse: (of children)

...
A third of children are sexually abused by adolescents 11 and women, in their attempts to find a mate, may unwittingly be putting their children at greater risk for sexual abuse from the men they date. If the mother remarries, according to a survey done by Russell, 12 the "stepdaughters are over eight times more at risk of sexual abuse by the stepfathers who reared them than are daughters reared by their biological fathers."
"As some researchers have begun to suspect, it may be the case that a growing number of stepfathers are really 'smart paedophiles', men who marry divorced or single women with families as a way of getting close to children."

Because of the current attitudes in Australia, a decent man who does not abuse daughters or stepdaughters is essentially an outlaw. That's ludicrous, but it is the reality today.

Why are the politicians and state officials perpetrating this sort of perverse fraud on the public? Because of political pressure from a small number of radicals who have a vested interest in the abuse economy, is one conclusion that holds up well under scrutiny.

Read more!

New blog added: the road to surfdom - australian issues

Tim Dunlop's 'road to surfdom' blog is about all things Australian.
His comments and articles range from the daily trials of life in Australia -- and surfing, but often drift into political commentary about the issues of the day, with a touch of wry humor.

In the wake of the faked photograph coming from the Israel-Hezzbollah fighting, Mark Steyn asks:
If Israel is so obviously such a disproportionate bloodthirsty murderous savage beast, why is it necessary to fake the evidence?
I don’t know. Maybe he should ask George W. Bush, Donald Rumsfeld or Colin ‘UN Presentation’ Powell the same question ...

Another day, another Rush Limbaugh drug bust:
Carrying a vial of Viagra without his name on it got talk-show host Rush Limbaugh in hot water with U.S. customs officers Monday.

…Limbaugh was stopped after flying in from the Dominican Republic on a private jet.

For those of you who don't know about Rush Limbaugh, think of Andrew Bolt drunk on viagra and steroids -- then add a few kilos.

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New Link added: Dads in Distress website

My first contact with Dads in Distress was not good.
I was in the middle of the crisis, emotionally distraught and wanting to pour out my feelings and issues to someone. The young voice on the other end of the line kept telling me: "Come to the meeting!"
I wanted to ask about services; he told me to "Come to the meeting. There is a new group forming in Frankston."
I was in no shape to attend a meeting at the time. I was just too wound up. I really have no idea how I came across, but his single line answers were not what I was looking for. I needed help about legal and emotional issues desperately. In the end, I simply hung up.

Since I'd was involved at the time organizing a support group at the local community center for people who had suffered a life changing injury, I think I assumed that this was just another one, and that I should keep looking.
Also, I assumed that there would be many such services on a more professional, or at least experienced or trained, level. -- Those were two gross mistakes on my part.

The best around

Then, as now, DiDs is the best such service available in Australia. It is privately funded, which means mostly out of the pockets of those who volunteer or have been helped. There is nothing like it anywhere else in Australia.
Despite its shortcomings because of funding and the reliance on sometimes over-eager volunteers, Tony Miller has put together the most effective service for men in the country. After becoming more familiar with the realities of the Australian mental health and social services system, I cannot begin to say how much I admire his effort and success.


Dads in Distress

Dads in Distress is a nationwide organization dedicated to dealing with the issues of Men's rights, Family Rights and the Family Courts. The site is easy to navigate and informative ( although you do have to scroll down many pages to find pertinent information.)
Dads in Distress has come to be an important voice in many national issues including the reform of the FCoA, the appalling suicide rate of men in Australia, and the treatment and support of men suffering the prejudices of the social and legal system.

While $257 million has been given to women's groups, shelters, and specialized services across Australia for years, the national effort of Dads in Distress has only received a $40,000 federal contribution for the first time this year. That hardly covers the phone bills.
DiDs saves lives daily, and could probably be shown to save the government $100 million a year annually in disability and medical expense; not to mention helping men deal with the difficulties of family and relationship breakups.
Comparably, a women's group that offered Thursday coffees received $250,000 this year in Sydney.

Dids is not about who was right or who was wrong. The only right we are interested in is the right for kids to have a relationship with their dad and allow dad the right to have the same. Dids is about giving dad back to their kids. Kids need both mum and dad in their lives. We help dads navigate the future by understanding the past.

Volunteers

The DiDs site recently added a Bookstore, Volunteer signup (where volunteers can seek training to make them more effective), and a Forum to discuss major issues and events.
There are DiDs meetings in most of the major cities, and more forming constantly. DiDs provides a national free crisis hotline at 1300 853 437. Volunteers are always needed. DiDs volunteers often also volunteer for the Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978 and the Suicide Hotline.

What's it cost to save a life?

$8500.00.............That's what it cost's to us. That's what it costs to keep a did's group operating in your area for 12 months. That's what it costs to save a man's life.............$8500.00.
Dads in Distress are looking for sponsors to continue this valuable work. Perhaps you can help, or maybe you can pass this on to a local businessman, an organisation, community group or an agency near you who may be able to help.

We know and so do you there are many dads out there feeling hurt, devastated, powerless, resentful, depressed, angry, gutted, sad and often suicidal. We can help and so can you. $8500.00 is not a lot to save a man's life. ..

The finest tradition

In an example of the finest tradition of Australia's community support groups, Dads in Distress has grown to fill a gaping national need left untouched, even unmentioned, in federal policy.
DiDs submissions to the Family Court reform process seem to have been heeded almost line for line in some instances.
What remains an unanswered need is that DiDs volunteers and policies have not been included in every Family Relationship Center. As women need to talk to women about such matters, so men need to talk to men. This could be reason the FRCs may fail.

Read more!

New Link added: Oz Politics Blog

This is a professionally written blog and website. The commentary could have been written under John Howard's history guidelines -- party line vs party line. Overall, the information is basic and non-controversial.
I include it more for a general overview of the Australian government structure and history. And many of the links lead to specific government sites that are useful.

Amongst the issues the blog discusses, there is not a single comment on the changes in the Family Courts or Federal Magistrates' court; not a single comment on feminists, men's rights, or family rights.
The authors of the blog are largely anonymous.

Read more!

New Link added: NZ Fathers Coalition

What draws me to the New Zealand Fathers' Coalition site is not the usual stuff of condemnations of the prejudices of the family courts in Australia and New Zealand; or the brave stance of the Coalition's founder, Psychologist Dr Viv Roberts; or even the support for the 'Botherings' and other demonstrations in New Zealand and Australia.

What draws me to this site are the heartfelt and professional videos of Dr Roberts describing the links between depression, family breakup, and suicide. His words are like a bell in a pitch-black night. The tone rings viscerally inside me.

The Black Dog, Churchill called it

It is over a year now since the horrid times. They still play back in my emotions on certain dates.
My body is largely healed, though it suffers from the stress of what I've endured.
The days-long exhausting anxiety has largely left me. It sits like a child's nightmare just over my shoulder, but it no longer demands all the energy from every day. Depression is my constant companion. Busying myself with study, work or friends drives it away for a time, but the Black Dog will not be driven away.
No longer do I pray for death every night, and wake disappointed. It only happens occassionally now. My nightmarish fantasies that swirled in my head before sleeping of how to take my own life are just memories I can fight off now.
Unbidden, conversations where I stand before my tormentors and my accusers burn in my mind like the strokes of a lash. Each scar deeper than the last. At least now the strokes fall on scars and not the open flesh of my psyche. They hear the truth, and finally realize it. My words destroy their schemes and denials. The conscious resolution that these conversations will never take place calms the pain in my head and heart more and more.
Just an imagined sighting of one of those involved can make me physically ill even now. The wrenched gut wanes into the numbed mind of depression, which gears me to drive to do more to be certain no one else ever is subjected anything like that again.
I know what Dr Roberts is speaking of. And from this year, I have learned that others have the same symptoms. I describe it my way; others just call it "mind f***ing".

In the videos, Dr Roberts' calm voice does not hide the expressions on his face. The video is like a terrorists' hostage video, -- or the images of Civil Rights' workers from 1960s America. His eyes dart from side to side. He would make a poor witness before an ignorant magistrate whose knowledge only extended to basic body language.

Social Anxiety and Depression

In my layman's search for answers, I would say Dr Roberts -- like every man I have met who has suffered from these injustices -- has social anxiety and depression.

I am of two minds about the Botherings and other demonstrations.
Like most, I believe, I would like to think that those who have been entrusted to administer the law serve the public weal for justice. And like so many, I have come to realize that this is not true. Reality is a rude brace to wear. The fact is that judges and other officials at all levels of the legal and social system are subject to the winds of politics. The Botherings do make the issues a part of the political process because they draw the public's attention.
Ergo, I would whole-heartedly participate in these demonstrations, while at the same time being disgusted that they're necessary.

Other concerns quickly seep into my thinking, too.
I have no wish for these demonstrations to get out of hand. Frustrated citizens can go too far. The idea of kidnapping children is too far. Bombing, attacks, and even verbal abuse of the culpable individuals is too far.
I have no wish to be drawn into the mob mentality of anything. I don't want to see anyone else drawn in either.
On the other hand, I understand the need inside oneself to do something to change the breech of public trust.

Notes on the website

The NZ Fathers' Coalition site is impressive. The blood red background brings a reaction that is hard to avoid.
But navigation is difficult because the central menu across the top disappears if a page is reloaded, leaving the viewer stranded at times. Use the back button or refer to immediate history links if you get stuck somewhere. The impression the site is unfinished is unavoidable. (If nothing else, it fails the use testing.)
Like so many men's and family rights organizations, the NZ Fathers' Coalition has no government funding to spare for website design.

Some of the links lead to blank pages. Resources from the main page is one, but from the drop down menu it leads to the Hands On Parent Trust site and the Fathers of New Zealand, which can help someone deal with the family courts.

Overall the NZ Fathers' Coalition site offers a great deal of inspiration and valuable insights, along with practical suggestions on how to deal with emotions and other issues. The courage and professionalism of Dr Roberts' effort could be made into a valuable program that will save lives, and enrich lives, if the government of NZ were to show that sort of foresight.
That government, like Australia, has given tens of millions to websites and organizations with far deeper prejudices in recent years.

Read more!

Gender bias in Family Law Proceedings

(Reproduced here with permission. The author's comments are annotated with research references for the 2003 Hull Commission report. The studies and references illustrate contempory and timely research. Emphasis added.)

My comment speaks to the issue of gender bias in family law proceedings

Little is known how couples' perceptions about the equity or inequity of the divorce agreement affect their ongoing parental negotiations or their level of conflict. However, equity theory predicts that perceived inequity would increase the likelihood of conflict. That is, the greater the inequity the greater the need to restore equity (Walster, Walster & Bershield 1973). Some legal authors argue that parents may have a constitutional right to a rebuttable presumption for joint residence (Note 1980; Canacakos 1981).While this argument addresses the U.S. Constitution it may have local legal relevance.

There's no doubt injustice has been done to men. The classic situation is the good father who sees his children every day and then bang: the couple separates and the court gives him every second weekend. To have a dear little child that you love, and suddenly your contact to him is so restricted. It's a basic cause for the anger so many men feel about the Family Court.

“Familiar words? The sense of loss of one’s child and sense of injustice experienced by fathers over their treatment in the Family Court is a constant theme in our society. Yet this time the complaint comes from the heart of the Family Court––in an exclusive interview with Geoffrey Walsh, recently retired after 18 years as a judge in the Victorian Family court” (Arndt 1996).

The legal victimisation of non-resident fathers is widely acknowledged (Family Law Pathways Advisory Group 2001), though from a scholarly perspective, this problem has only occasionally been investigated (Gersick 1979; Goldstein 1983). However, anecdotal literature cite numerous specific examples of legal victimisation (Head 1991b; Lovorn 1991. Non-resident fathers repeatedly report that sexist statements are made against them by judges and quite frequently recorded on the court transcript.

When one seeks research support for these anecdotal claims, very little research is available. However, some available evidence does tend to support the hypothesis that non-resident parents are victimised by legal bias (Gersick 1979; Goldstein 1983; Burmeister 1991c; Bordow 1994). For example, Goldstein (1983) used 48 judges in an analogue decision-making task to examine the sex of a parent as a determinant of residence. Four equivalent parent descriptions were presented to each judge in two hypothetical cases, and judges were asked to decide each hypothetical case. Mothers were seen as more effective parents than were fathers in spite of the fact that the parenting descriptions were the same. Also, mothers were more likely to receive sole residence awards by a ratio of three to one.

Lawyers frequently discourage fathers from pursuing residence, even when the father has a valid reason for desiring residence (Gersick 1979). The Lone Fathers Association of Australia conducted a survey of 10,000 divorced fathers. The poll found that 80% of divorcing fathers are told by their lawyers not to apply for residence orders in the Family Court because they would be unsuccessful in what would be costly proceedings. However, this does not mean that lawyers are part of an anti-father conspiracy. The essence of a lawyer’s job is to give honest advice, and that in the case of most fathers’ parenting attempts, the honest advice was that the father was unlikely to succeed (Abernathy 1993)

Often, the advice continues that Besides, if you petition for residence, you will cause her to be upset, and she will probably make it tough on you to see the children after you lose. Be cooperative, leave her and the kids in the house, and I’ll try to get the most liberal contact for you (Fay 1995).

Damaging and invalid preconceptions, so long erroneously held, cause and blend nicely and logically with the terrible legal and psychological positions taken to produce a father who, though he loves his children and parents them well, is persuaded and convinced that by not taking the kids from their mother he is taking the right and best course for his children’s future (Levy 1987).

The brave and loving who have remained committed despite incredible odds may still have a battle ahead:

You have never seen a bigger pain in the rear end than the father who wants to get involved; he can be repulsive. He wants to meet the kid after school at three o’clock, take the kid out to dinner during the week, have the kid on his own birthday, talk to the kid on the phone every evening, go to every open school night, take the kid away for a whole weekend so they can be alone together. This type of involved father is pathological.

(Judge Richard Huttner former Chief Judge of the New York Kings County in The Fathers Also Rise. New York Magazine, 18 November 1985 pp 50-75). The idea that fathers should be significant caregivers in a post-divorce situation sits uneasily with received notions of men as primary breadwinners and women as carers. In this context, fathers are assumed to be unable to look after their children and must prove their childcare abilities, whereas mothers' competence is taken as given. One judge from the Family Law Court in San Diego California spoke to a support group of fathers in that city about how they might gain sole residence or joint residence of their children. Unabashedly she told the fathers they must present the court with documented evidence of their parenting skills. Asked by the fathers in this support group if she would be more specific about the skills needed, she replied:

Skills like cooking, diapering a baby, giving the children baths, cleaning, doing the laundry...

Some of the fathers protested to her that mothers are not required to provide the same kind of documentation. The judge replied unhesitatingly:

All I can tell you is that if men want custody or joint custody, they will provide the documentation (Silver & Silver 1981)

As distasteful as her advice was to the fathers, the judge did realistically represent the situation of fathers seeking sole residence or joint residence. There is a presumption that the mother will be awarded residence and the father will be given reasonable contact and will pay child support (Pearson & Ring 1983, Rassam 1994).

Research in the U.S. suggests that many judges bring a sexist view of parenting to the bench and that when fathers are awarded residence it is not because they are the more appropriate parent for the children to reside with. Rather fathers obtain residence because mothers are found to be unable to conform to certain stereotypical views of motherhood. Notwithstanding that current legal statutes instruct the courts to award residence in the best interests of the child the evidence suggests the dated maternal presumption doctrine continues to have an influence. Pearson & Ring (1993) write:

More detailed questioning revealed that most judges remain very attached to the tender year presumption. As one older judge put it: ‘If both parties are seeking custody and there are children of tender years, biologically the mother should get custody. Men sometimes want custody but usually want something more, like not paying child support.’ and in the words of a younger judge: ‘I do not care what the statute may say about sex neutrality. If the mother has been there and the children are small, I give custody to the mother. The bond between young children and their mothers is important.’

In 1991, the Georgia Commission On Gender Bias In The Judicial System released a report listing culturally based gender-biased beliefs that influence some judges and disadvantage fathers. The Commission found that these beliefs included:

• The belief that a mother is a better parent than a father.
• The belief that children, especially young children, need to be with their mothers.
• The belief that a father cannot work outside the home and be a nurturing parent
• The belief that because a mother is presumed to be the better parent, fathers must prove the mother unfit in order to gain residence.
• The belief that if a court grants residence to a father, it brands the mother as unfit and unworthy

The Commission noted that in addition to the actual application of these biases by judges, perceptions of gender bias discourage fathers from seeking custody by creating a 'chilling effect,’ thus convincing fathers that it is not worth their effort to even seek residence.

A brief review of a local appeals case illustrates the overseas findings. In McMillan v Jackson (1995) an unemployed father denied sole residence of his son because the trial court considered him a poor role model for his son was found to be the victim of gender bias. The child was originally handed over to his maternal great-grandmother whom the trial judge said may well wear the pants in her family.

It goes without saying that the child’s respect for his father as a role model will be immeasurably heightened if he perceives his father as the parent who is supporting him from his own exertions’ his decision also said.

The Full Court upholding the father’s complaint of gender bias ruled that it was wrong for one of its judges to say the child in question was at risk of welfare dependency because his father chose to be a full-time parent father than a wage earner. The judgment found the trial judge‘s pre-conception that a father should be out working to support his son rather than staying at home to look after his day-to-day needs, played a significant part in the determination of the case.

In addition, the trial judge had failed to notify the father of his views during cross-examination. The appeals court noting that it had the obligations and responsibility to reflect community standards and opinions subject to the Family Law Act 1975 found that the judge was out of step with community values.
The Sunday Telegraph in 1996 reported on a residence case where the mother made a sexual abuse allegation about the father towards the child. Justice Joseph Kay found the mother to not be a believable witness and that she would try to deny any meaningful relationship to the children with their father.
He further found that her behaviour was positively destructive to the emotional needs of the children and would psychologically harm them. He then awarded her sole residence because the husband lacked instinctive insight into the needs of children. The continuing education of which many judges and magistrates already undertake needs to address issues such as these (Family Law Pathways Advisory Group 2001).

Several N Z decisions further illustrate the problem of judicial gender-bias. “In Logan v Robertson (1995), late submission of a husband's affidavit was not permitted because the directions of the Court were not to be treated as non-binding guidelines. In Nichols v Nichols (1996), the same judge allowed late submission by a wife on the grounds that an injustice could have been done to the wife if she had been unable to have the affidavits introduced. Any underlying justification for these conflicting approaches is not presented.
It is as if there is a menu of principles, which can be drawn from as necessary to support the desired result. Under such circumstances arbitrary or biased decisions could be made with the appropriate explanation added, and we would be none the wiser. In other words, even if a decision appears to be well reasoned and internally consistent, it may not give a complete and transparent explanation. This potential for decisions based on unstated assumptions gives further cause for concern about the information, which might be shaping judges' opinions” (Birks 1998).

Beyond this overt legal bias against fathers seeking residence, there are anecdotal reports (Lovorn 1991) and some research evidence (Vogtli 1989) of social and legal bias against non-resident mothers. When a woman chooses to give up residence, for whatever reason that woman may be negatively stigmatised for life (Vogtli 1989), and that stigmatisation may impact her chances for future modification of residence/contact orders.

By requiring mothers to be the primary caregivers of children, whether or not they desire to be, society continues to communicate to mothers that they must choose their children over all else or risk being labelled a failure as a mother, and as a woman (Greif & Pabst 1988). Thus, women who voluntarily relinquish residence are frequently seen by society as misguided, selfish and unnatural (Sanger 1996). This refrain continues, despite the fact that numerous opportunities, notably in education and employment, have opened up to women over the last thirty years (Chavez 1996). Clearly, the legal/social victimisation results in demonstrable injustice against non-resident parents of both sexes.

It is somewhat surprising that this evidence of bias and legal victimisation of non-resident parents has not been investigated more thoroughly. Further, it is interesting that this legal victimisation has been allowed to continue as long as it has, given the sensitivity of lawyers, parliamentarians, and courts to other complaints of victimisation from other disenfranchised and powerless groups.
It may be that the calls for ending this legal victimisation have been muted because of the sex of the majority of the victims happen to be male. While our society has become increasing cognizant of instances in which women are victimised, victimisation of male members of our society is, almost, an unheard of issue, and researchers may have chosen not to investigate this mounting evidence because of this general societal perception (Wright 1992)

Yuri J

PS Additional references can be traced by contacting James Adams of fathers4equality; or reading the submissions here. The author's conclusion is that former Chief Justice of the Family Court Alastair Nicholson's positions are demonstrably erroneous. --PD

Read more!

Passive Resister Murtari: "I'm Back On [Hunger] Strike

(reproduced here by request)

Passive Resister Murtari: "I'm Back On [Hunger] Strike,"
TV Coverage


John Murtari, 49, former Air Force training pilot and loving father to 13-year-old Domenic says he's back on strike. The New York father stopped eating and drinking July 31 to highlight the desperate need for family law reformwhen he reported to serve a 6-month sentence for child support arrears .
.
"This is about civil rights," he says. Murtari claims the money he was ordered to pay in child support was necessary to maintain a relationship with his son who was moved across the country by the mother. When discussing the high cost of travel he asks, "How many of those [visits] could I have traded away — and not lost our relationship?"
.
During the first 10 days his health deteriorated and he was given a nasogastric feeding tube, after the press starting asking questions. The tube was removed yesterday to give his throat time to recover from the irritation and to allow him to have a good night's sleep.
.
Murtari was surprised when doctors declined to reinsert it as planned today. "They want me to feed myself, or at least drink on my own," he said, "I didn't; the only water I'll have now will be to keep my mouth moist." His health is expected to decline even more quickly this time since he's not starting out in pefect health.
.
Inspired by Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Murtari is a gracious and gentle man . He blames no one for his situation, only the bad laws in existence. Even when he was suffering extreme dehydration, he asked that all who act on his behalf do it with
kindness. Murtari communicates by publishing a near-weekly enewsletter with help from the office staff of his small internet company, and by replying to letters sent to him in jail.

Read more!

Trials and Tribulations

There's a popular joke amongst born-again Christians about praying for patience: Don't do it.
-- Because the way God teaches you patience is through trials and tribulations.

The men and women who have been fighting for equality before the law in the Family Court system must be the most patient people in the world.
(from "Government moves to ease trauma of separation", Australian Broadcasting Corporation (ABC) 7:30 Report - TV Program Transcript Broadcast: 23 August 2006 by Nick Grimm)

The new Family Resource Centres are a hopeful change in the approach of the courts to families in crisis and breakups.

GRAEME CAMPBELL, 'DADS IN DISTRESS': I walked in the door and the first thing they did was start to, made me feel very welcome. They didn't know who I was. I introduced myself and the next question I received was, "What are the genuine concerns of fathers?"
That's the first time that question has been asked of me -- in my four years experience in the family law system.

The first time. With whatever hope you may have in the new procedures, you have to ask yourself: Why is this the first time that the concerns of fathers part of the process?
The answer is not the wisdom or leadership of the courts or politicians. It is because of men like Graeme Campbell, and organizations like Dads in Distress.

The next interchange though, is very telling:

NICK GRIMM: Graeme Campbell is a member of 'Dads in Distress', a support group for fathers whose relationships have gone bad. It's a group that's complained in the past that fathers cop a raw deal in the courts. But he likes the fact the new Family Relationship Centres are not only father friendly, they're child friendly.

GRAEME CAMPBELL: Effectively the law said that the court couldn't listen to what children had to say. That simple. Their opinion didn't really count until they were almost adults, which is very sad.

These are the same courts which have claimed for three decades to be placing the "interests of the child" first? Yet both Nick Grimm and Graeme Campbell find it necessary in their first statements to emphasize that the courts now listen to children?
'Sad' is a popular word in these circles.

Women's groups are enraged about the new reforms. And the former, discredited Chief Justice of the Family Court, Alastair Nicholson has spoken out:

The Federal Government's new family law system discriminated against women and ignored the needs of children, former Family Court chief justice Alastair Nicholson said yesterday. established as part of the legislative changes in an effort to provide first-point counselling services for couples experiencing problems, would most likely prove ineffective, Mr Nicholson said.

"If ever there was a piece of anti-female legislation, this is it," Mr Nicholson said in his keynote address at the ACT Council of Social Service biennial conference.
...
The changes would most likely lead to more litigation, as was the case after reforms in 1995.

(from "Family law changes sexist, ignore children's needs: ex-judge" by Catherine Naylor, Friday, 18 August 2006 Canberra Times)

Mr Nicholson's reign in the Family Court lasted 14 years. He was a devoted advocate of formality in the courtroom. His is still a powerful voice in the debate about Family Law and the courts.
From an unnamed source:

“(New Chief Justice of the Family Court of Australia Dianne) Bryant believes the Family Courts should be a work in progress to continually reflect the attitudes and values of the society we live in. Nicolson on the other hand wanted the Court and the way it worked to reflect his own beliefs and attitudes.”

There are those who have mentioned him for a seat in the federal Parliament in the upcoming elections.

Formalities

And considering the courts weren't interested in what the fathers' concerns were, what the Hell did they think they were doing all this time? The answer is even more ugly than the sexist conclusions drawn by many in the men's rights and fathers' rights movement: The courts were just playing a game called 'Court.'

In that game, the Court is all that's important; not the parents or children.
Women were just as abused by the courts as the men and the children.
Why would I say something like that?

His first duty is to the courts and the public, not to the client, and whereever the duties of his client conflict with those he owes as an officer of the court in the administration of justice, the former must yield to the latter.
The office of attorney is indispensible to the adminstration of justice and is intimate and peculiar in its relation to, and vital to the well-being, of the court.

Take a look at what the lawyers and magistrates are trained to do.
By law and training, the attorneys first duty is to the court, not their clients. (Corpus Juris Secundum vol. 7 section 4)
There is no question that most family law lawyers have adhered to their duty to the court, but not to the public weal for justice. After all, the courts only have to give lip service to the public weal for justice: It's not a hard thing to do; the courts define 'justice', at the end of the day.

A client is one who applies to a lawyer or counselor:

• for advice and direction in a question of law,
• or commits his case to his management in prosecuting a claim or defending against a suit in a court of justice; (sic)
• one who retains the attorney,
• is responsible to him for his fees,
• and to whom the attorney is responsible for the management of the suit,
• one who communicates facts to an attorney expecting professional advice.

(CJS vol 7, SS 2-3)
Disregarding the feudal sexist terminology which still seems to imply that only men will appear in court, -- and yes, this is a recent volume -- the message is clear: A client is a ward of the court.
Lawyers are trained to consider their clients as "wards of the court". What is a 'ward of the court'? In effect, an "infant and persons of unsound mind palced by the court under the care of a guardian'. (ibid, Glossary of Terms and Definitions)

In aussie terms, "That's a shockah!"

Men, women, and children are to be considered as if they were infants or of unsound mind in a courtroom by lawyers and judges alike. Can you imagine the aggrandizing hypocrisy of such an attitude?
Think for a moment about what that teaches even the youngest child about their parents and the government, the courts, and life? One man or woman sits on a raised bench, collaborating with two or more others, to demonstrate to children that their parents are infantile, and of unsound mind.
Yet anyone who has appeared before a court will instantly recognize the attitude, -- and the blatant disrespect for their persons, children, and the truth that this attitude expresses. If this is a means to 'Justice', then the ends does not justify the means.

The courts, and the attorneys and other officials which serve them, are more concerned with their own "well-being" than anything else, as demonstrated repeatedly by the courts at all levels.
For those that do not immerse themselves in the game of 'Court', they are like novices in a video game. They don't know the rules, the characters and their roles, or the playing field. They are, indeed, like infants or of 'unsound mind'.

And when you lose a game of 'Court' in the Family Court of Australia, you don't just start over. A quick Restart won't do it.
You lose your self worth, your willingness to love and trust, and everything you have ever had or dreamt of having. 'Court' is like a game out of a horror-science fiction movie more than anything else -- but you live it.

Finally recognized

And that is the home truth of why the Family Resource Centres exist and are important. I hope the people who work in them realize that they have taken on part of the duty of the courts. Family Resurce Centres serve the public weal for justice, because the courts have proven inadequate to the task.
We should all credit those leaders who have seen this fact for what it is and moved to amend the Family Court procedures.
Chief Justice Dianne Bryant has proven herself a woman of vision and courage. But she was not alone in her quest. There were also men like Graeme Campbell, and many others who will remain unnamed heroes in this battle.

And let us not forget the fallen, the men who have committed suicide; and those for whom life has little meaning to this day.
Let us honor all those who endured the trials and tribulations while patiently waiting: men, women, and children.
And let us all pray that the damage that has been done will not endure into to far into future generations.

Read more!

John Murtari update 24 Aug 2006

(reproduced here by request)

Activist father Murtari, thankful for press, lucky to be alive.
August 22,2006
by Teri Stoddard

.
John Murtari says he feels better this morning after a night of restful sleep. The feeding tube that's been keeping him alive was removed yesterday and the plan is to reinsert it tomorrow. "It's been difficult sleeping," he said, "I've been very uncomfortable. It's great getting a whole night's sleep." When asked about staying hydrated while the tube is out he responded, "I've been drinking a little juice each morning, and a little milk each evening, and I'll continue to do that, as well as drink some water."
.
Murtari, 49, hasn't had solid food since July 31 when he reported to jail to serve a 6-month sentence for "willful" failure to pay his $60,000 child support arrears, a charge he says in unjust. He has been paying what he can afford, he claims, and says the $60,000 it has cost him to stay in his son's life isn't being taken into acount.
.
Domenic, Murtari's 13-year-old son, was moved across the country by his mother after the divorce, something Murtari tried to stop. Murtari visits him four times a year and brings him back to New York for visits twice a year. "Those airline flights are expensive," he says.
.
Murtari, founder of AKidsRight.org <http://www.akidsright.org/>, and other family rights advocates want Congressional hearings and ultimately passage of a Family Rights Act <http://www.akidsright.org/act.htm>. They believe no one should lose custody of their children, whether by divorce or Children'sProtective Services, without a trial and a jury of their peers.
.
Having only consumed 30 ounces of water in 10 days, then 2 nutritional supplements the day he was given the feeding tube, Murtari had experienced low blood pressure, a rapid and irregular heartbeat, tremors, loss of over25 lbs. and was starting to have trouble finishing sentences.
.
Jail personnel told Murtari it was his choice to starve to death, and they would not intervene. After local newspapers published articles on his situation, he was finally given the nasal gastric feeding tube.
.
Inspired by Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Murtari hopes his passive resistance to the incarceration will draw attention to the immoral laws affecting people in family court. "I have good news for you," he told me, "the Post-Standard [newspaper]<http://www.akidsright.org/post_standard_8_22_2006.jpg>did a half-page
editorial section
[on
his situation.]


"Please tell everyone thank you for writing letters," he added.

continued...

--
"Which feminist along the way forgot to read the manual?" -
http://feminist4fathers.mensnewsdaily.com

"Children deserve fully functioning, natural, loving, dedicated
relationships with both of their parents, equally, in and out of marriage,
whenever possible. Shared parenting works." -
http://www.sharedparentingworks.org

Purple Ribbon Campaign For Equal Parenting - Upload your photo to Flickr
with the tag "purple ribbon campaign" or send it to me. Join our Frappr
map! - http://www.frappr.com/familylawreformadvocatesandactivists

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Trite, so trite

Keen grasp of the obvious file: Age gets to us all.

I suppose a hip that took 25 years or so to deteriorate should be a hint, but some things come unbidden into my consciousness. Conditioning exercises like calesthenics and aerobics were once just a sort of dance to get up a sweat. There was no stiffness or soreness afterward, just a well-soaked shirt.
A quick shower, and the easy athletic stride quickly returned, only a bit more energized.

The last few years have taken a silent terrible toll on me. Unable to do much more than move around a couple of hours a day for more than two years, strength and flexibility simply seeped quietly from all parts of me. The draining exhaustion in the years previous to that period was dismissed as depression or stress: new country, new challenges, frustration with myself and others -- all took their toll.
And then the surjery, and the demands of slower-than-normal recovery because of my size, and the horrific stress of my ex partner's abuse, have transformed me into someone I hardly recognize in the mirror. Where did this samoan-style frame come from?

Conditioning just means stiffness as large muscles learn to breathe again. They sit beneath the flab like great chunks of meat until they do. And when they find oxygen again, they seem to burst and bulge with the promise of power, but not quite there yet.
And the power is needed to move this flabby, massive frame. It needs to move, but resists every attempt to make it move. Sweat comes too slowly. Where once muscles burned with energy and boiled the cleansing moisture from me, what's left seems to not be familiar with movement. Now it takes a while to work up a sweat; and I can't always keep the muscles moving for that while.
My whole body has atrophied into a shaped blob. Like an unfinished sculpture, the shape has not emerged yet.
I have gotten old. I don't think I like it very much. I want to kick and spin, leap and spring, see the world go flying by as my thighs flash in the sunlight. And to that now-impossible end, I keep pumping and splashing, back and forth over and over.

Read more!

New Links added

One of the purposes of this blog is to provide an access point to information about the Family Court of Australia (FCoA), the Federal Magistrates' Court (FMC), and the other elements of the legal system such as state courts and police.

There is a definite bias to this blog. It is to give voice to those who are opposed and opposing the discriminatory, sexist, and prejudiced attitudes in the Australian legal and social system, and these aspects in the Australian government. These voices have too long been held silent.
Blatant discrimination and disinformation is constantly opposed. Unfortunately, in this desperate quest, some posts and references will stand in the eyes of certain people as discriminatory, and even sexist.
As the evidence of discrimination is exposed to the public, I hope the inflammatory rhetoric will give way to reason and a sincere effort to irradicate all discrimination from the federal and state courts, and the legal and social systems which support the legal system in Australia.


Under 'Voices of Australia - Websites' :

SPCA - Shared Parenting Council of Australia

The SPCA has branches in all Australian states and territories.
From their website:

"The Shared Parenting Council of Australia was incorporated in September 2002 as a representative body for a range of Parent, Children, Church and Family Law Reform organisations who share the common purpose of prescribing in law, every child's fundamental human right to an equal opportunity and relationship with both their Mother and Father following parental separation or divorce."

Michael Green QC is the President of SPCA. I've had a couple of email exchanges with Mike Green. I find him knowledgable and always level-headed. I almost want to apologize to Mike for not linking the SPCA sooner. Under his guidance, the SPCA has become an important voice in the reform of the Family Court of Australia.

The website displays their efforts in advocacy. Although the organization has only been in existance since 2002, already about half the links on the Affliated and Related Links page are not operational. The website is easy to navigate and professionally presented.
I doubt the SPCA has been funded by the federal or state governments.
The SPCA site is a good starting point for information about the Family Court or Federal Magistrates' Court. There are representatives listed in all states and territories of Australia except Northern Territories and Tasmania.

Family Law Reform, NSW Inc.

This is a very professionally done website that contains advocacy, practical information about the processes of the Family Court and the local legal system. Practical information is available for all stakeholders -- parents, children, grandparents and relatives, -- and how to deal with police and magistrates' orders. Please contact FLR using the online form before following any of the published advice from the site. It may be specific to NSW only.
From their site:

Aims & Objectives of the Association

• To introduce sensible reforms to the workings of the Family Law Act and its courts in Australia.

• To act as a source of constructive aid to all members involved in Family Law proceedings.

• To raise as much support as possible for the association from a broad cross-section of Australian society.

• To disseminate information to members in relation to Family Law.

We are currently working on the following State and Federal Social Policy

• Working with the Department of Education on their new Schools Policy

• NSW Law Reform Commission on AVOs

• Federal Attorney General for the concept of Rebuttable Shared Parenting

• Reforms to Child Support and the way the Agency conducts their business

• Reforms to the Family Court's approach to becoming more user friendly

• Moving away from the litigated to a mediated process of resolution of family matters

I recognize only one name from the FLR site, Richard Long, who has been a frequent contributor to the MRA and fathers4equality lists on Yahoo. Richard's comments have always been informational and level-headed.

Mens Confraternity, Inc WA (updated link)

One of the issues that face men when a relationship disintegrates is the sense of being alone facing an implacable, faceless overwhelming menace. This is a self-destructive attitude that can be overcome by realizing that no one is alone, and that there is help available all across Australia. The Mens Confraternity site is a powerful tool for dispelling those desperate feelings.
The site reflects the advocacy of the organization and is linked to many resources across Australia and the world.
Although the organization does valuable work for all Australians, it is self funded by donations and supporting services. The website is easy to navigate. Someone has certainly improved as more information and links are added constantly. (I hope they get an RSS subscription link soon.) From my review, all the links are active; and there are many pages beneath the drop-down menus at the top.
From the website:

Men's Confraternity is an internet based non-profit and benevolent organisation. Our website offers an online forum and information / services gateway providing help, advice, support and political advocacy to men and fathers with Family Court, child support, paternity and gender equality issues.

...

Men's Confraternity is an Associate Member of the Shared Parenting Council of Australia and we fully support the principle of equal shared parenting after separation or divorce.

I want to thank David Ward for his reciprocal link to this blog. I hope that my efforts here will add to his and others' efforts towards equality before the law for everyone.

Lone Fathers' Associaton, Inc

The Lone Fathers' Association is a national Peak Body and may be the longest-lasting established organization in Australia advocating for equal parenting time.
From the website:

That both parents share responsibility and caregiving after family breakdown, regardless of where the children reside with after separation.

That co-parenting and shared residency after separation shall be the accepted starting point for parents and the Courts. All participants in the separation processes shall recognise the integrity and value of each party as a parent.

That perceived stereo-typing and gender bias in society, Government agencies and the Courts are replaced by processes based upon natural justice and without bias.

The website is a little amateurish and a little difficult to navigatge, but the information available about advocacy is critical for anyone who seeks to understand the issues. Again, this may be intentional to allow access for less technically familiar Australians. As far as I know, LFA is self funded.

There are 18 branches across Australia.

Relationships Australia not included

Let me explain why one link is not there: Relationships Australia.
I like to review the links to my blog and, if possible, contact the owners to let them know that the link has been made. Relationships Australia was a surprise. The site is obviously well-funded.

Although hundreds of millions of dollars -- an estimated $527 million -- has been allocated to fund public support programs for families, men and women, and children struggling through the break up of relationships, the funding has been discriminatory and sexist. Any pretense of an even-handed approach commonly means the organization is not funded by the government of Australia.
An organization prejudiced against men is given generous funding.

A few people have suggested that RA was a good place to begin to deal with a broken marriage or relationship. Others have condemned the organization's services as discriminatory.
In roaming their site, I came across this brochure: FAIR - Family Abuse Integrated Response. It is clearly sexist and discriminatory, assuming by the program's structure that the violence is only from the man, and that no women will ever need anger management training. This brochure is an example of institutionalized prejudice and state-sponsored fear-mongering.
Someday I hope the government allows a class action suit to recoup these misappropriated funds.
I will not include a link to Relationships Australia until all of such programs are removed and public apologies made for such prejudice.

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Hot Topics at CRC's 20th Anniversary Conference

Hot Topics at CRC's 20th Anniversary Conference

The Children's Rights Council announces its 20th Anniversary Conference "Shared Parenting in the 21st Century" November 3-5 at the Sheraton Crystal City Hotel, Arlington, Virginia.

High-Octane Topics will include Defining the Best Interests of the Child, Paternity Establishment, Parental Alienation of Children, and The Rights of Children in Same Sex Marriages.

Also, How Judges Decide Custody Cases, Community Responses to Domestic Violence, Media Misperceptions of the Family, Essential Elements to Winning Joint Custody, How to Mediate Successfully, Child Access Centers: Problems and Solutions, and much more.

Speakers will include:

• syndicated columnists "Ask Amy" Dickinson, Glenn Sachs, Cathy Young, Kathleen Parker
• Reading-Aloud-to-Children Advocate Wally "Famous" Amos
• Congressmembers Albert R. Wynn (D-MD) and Roscoe Bartlett (R-MD)
• Deputy U.S. Surgeon General Admiral Kenneth P. Moritsugu
• Author Elizabeth Marquardt ("Between Two Worlds")
• Marriage Savers co-founder Mike McManus
• Federal Child Support Commissioner Margot Bean and former Commissioner David Gray Ross;
• Parenting educator Jayne A. Major;
• Custody Reform Advocates Ronald K. Henry, Ned Holstein and Dan Hogan ("Fathers and Families")
• Stephen Baskerville ("American Coalition of Fathers and Children")
• CRC State Leaders Sal Frasca, Myrna Murdoch, Mark Roseman, Rachel Forrest
• Judges Paul Panepinto (Philadelphia), Anita Josey-Herring (Washington, D.C.), Paul Garfinkel (South Carolina), Sharon Townsend (New York) CRC Access Center Directors Margaret Wuwert and Alfred Ellis
• Grant Writers Bob Billingham, Sr. and John Jolley (HHS)
• Family Law attorneys Nicholas Palermo, Sharon Berg, John Bauserman, Jr. and Michael L. Oddenino
• Psychologist S. Richard Sauber (co-editor of the new "The International Handbook of Parental Alienation Syndrome")
• Other psychologists, educators, writers, child advocates.
• And Much More....

The conference begins Friday Nov. 3 at 9 a.m. and ends Sunday, Nov. 5
at noon.

Up to 14 hours of CEU's offered by the American Psychological Association (APA) and up to 15 hours by the National Council on Family Relations.

Access Facilitator Certification for new and experienced Access Staff.
Post-Conference on Capitol Hill Monday, Nov. 6 at 10 a.m. on "International Child Abduction and Custody Trends Around the World," with speakers from Embassies and CRC chapters in UK, Canada, Australia, and other countries.

For more information and registration, go to www.crckids.org

For special hotel rate of $109 a night, contact Sheraton Hotel at 1-800-325-3535 or 703/486-1111. Ask for the CRC rate.
CRC is also at 1-800-787-KIDS or info@crckids.

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Deborah Gough on Disinformation techniques

I have to assume that Deborah Gough intended to show how information can be easily misrepresented in her article for The Age, 20 Aug 2006, titled, "Women hit in message of violence".
But I am surprised that the editors at The Age would let her publish something like this without identifying it as a spoof.

The article begins by designating men's rights groups as "RADICAL" for succeeding in putting forth for the public the reality of domestic violence and abuse. These facts are supported by numerous (over 240 in recent years according to fathers4equality spokesperson James Adams) studies, but also common sense and experience: That women can be just as violent as men.

Even more, the studies consistently indicate that women are abusive in emotional and verbal ways, which arguably cause more long-term damage to all involved. -- But Ms Gough, in her apparent example of disinformation, has avoided mentioning such facts.
With the recent changes to federal and state laws which define emotional and verbal abuse as domestic violence -- distinguishing 'domestic violence' from 'violence' and, perhaps even 'intimate partner violence' -- future studies may show that women are more abusive than men in Australia.

You do have to give Ms Gough credit for identifying this as a propaganda war though. It is, more correctly, an effort against disinformation from what have been poorly identified as "feminists" by many. Feminists are interested in equality before the law for all people, regardless of gender, just as are the mens and fathers rights groups.
That's why there has been a growing support amongst feminists for the efforts of mens and fathers rights groups. Obviously, this exposition of reality doesn't please many of the radical feminist groups, but The Age should be more interested in publishing facts, not more propaganda.

Next, the article tells of "a survey released to The Age" where

"Experts say that a dramatic shift in public opinion is stemming from the rise in volume of fathers' groups who say women are as violent as men in relationships. One organisation has also said that the federally funded Mensline television advertisement could also be a factor."

So far, we have an unnamed survey from an unnamed source which resents the facts coming out; and an unnamed organization that blames the explication of the facts on an advertisement from MensLine -- or is that a credit to the MensLine ad?

That's the MensLine ad that shows a father saddened when his daughter has to leave. The one that women's groups say demonizes women. You can draw your own conclusions there. The ad makes no comment about women. It portrays the feelings of any father at that moment.
Is it that anything that humanizes men demonizes women?

The unnamed survey is then subtly associated with the Australian Burea of Statistics Personal Violence Survey, although without using the capital letters that would identify the PVS correctly.
Is this another unnamed survey? - or a reference to the ABS study?
I looked over the ABS survey to try to find the source of this statement: "(The ABS study) ..showed women were seven times more likely to be assaulted by a partner or former partner than a male assault victim." But there are no combinations of the statistics from the ABS study that I can find that show anything of the kind.

Two tables that seem to be cited incorrectly (if the ABS survey is being cited)

There are two tables in the ABS study that refer to 'partner' and 'former partner' violence, (-- one table refers to the last 12 months; the other since age 15 --) but no combination of those numbers shows a 7-fold difference.)
What is shown is bad enough: Men are far more likely to experience violence at any age and throughout their lives than women. It does show that 49.9% of men and 60% of women have never experienced violence of any kind since age 15 from all across Australia.
Other tables show that 89.1% of men and 93.5% of women in Victoria have not experienced violence in the last 12 months.

And then there what Goebbels called "the dance of hypocrisy":

"There may be a reluctance to see men as the more violent sex, and an appeal in the idea of gender equality in regards to domestic violence. But the data simply doesn't support this view," Dr (La Trobe University academic Michael) Flood said.

"Men's and fathers' rights groups have been pushing this myth for some time and draw on some actual research but they are very selective in that research," he said.

Yes, Dr Flood, they have been selective. The men's groups have opted not to use biased studies, such as those created with federal funding for the Domestic Violence Clearinghouse, which discount the existance of female on male violence altogether.
Dr Flood is illustrating the political trick of blaming your opponent for what you are doing yourself. -- Another excellent example of disinformation and tactics!

In a final sublety, Ms Gough illustrates how to pretend at fairness while putting forward a biased viewpoint by using a trick of human nature. The first balanced statement is near the end of the piece. She knows that this is a difficult topic for many, and that most people will not read the article to completion.
Yes, despite federal funds heavily spent to put forward the idea that women are not abusive and are not violent towards men, and the fact that the officers of the law, along with state and local officials consistently dismiss or refuse to take reports of female intimate partner violence (or even crime from my own experience) -- the numbers of men reporting violence from their partners or former partners is underreported.

Lone Fathers Association national president Barry Williams said he agreed with the premise that women and men were equally likely to perpetrate violence on a partner.

He said men were reluctant to report violence and police often failed to take action.

And she reports at the very end that 88% of children live with their mothers.
That this reflects the bias in the implementation of the law caused by the continuing disinformation campaigns before the public, Ms Gough again -- in her far too obvious illustration of propaganda -- avoids mentioning.

Superb example

We should all applaud Ms Gough for her efforts. This article is a superb example of how to present few facts from anonymous sources with the prestige of a major newspaper behind it, and even seem to be supported by the sincere efforts of the ABS to provide the facts to the public.

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Banana prices in Oregon, USA

IMG_5550
Originally uploaded by t.mackeson.

Outrageously high prices for bananas have become a national political issue in Australia. Most of Australia's bananas come from Queensland in north.
Inexpensive bananas in Australia are $12.00 aud a kilo (about 2.2 lbs per kilo). There are instances across the country where prices have been over $22.00 aud per kilo.

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Purple ribbon

Purple ribbon
Originally uploaded by Light Saver.

National and international supporters of John Murtari wear or display purple ribbons.

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Murtari Update

Murtari Update,
McManus Column,
101UsesForBabyWipes
August 17, 2006

by Teri Stoddard

John Murtari update:
.
The last couple of days have been terribly hard on John Murtari. The feeding tube is wearing his throat raw. He told his cousin Cheryl who visited him in jail, that it hurts so much he tries to keep himself from swallowing. He hasn't been able to sleep, except for Tuesday night when they removed the tube for fear of perforation. It was due to be reinserted Wednesday.
.
John told Cheryl that he could feel his muscles changing shape as his body drew from them to stay alive. "I could see the weight loss in his face," she said, "and he was hoarse." "It breaks my heart," she continued, "John is a really great dad. It never should have gotten to this point."
.
She said, "He wants to thank everyone who cares about this cause. It's wonderful how so many people who've never met John are working together on this." And she added, "A man like him couldn't need it more. He has so little, and so little family."

I'd like to thank Mike McManus for his column on shared parenting and joint custody: The Need for Shared Parenting...

...for his column, and more, including my interview on 101UsesForBabyWipes ... click here...


--
Purple Ribbon Campaign For Equal Parenting - http://www.flickr.com/photos/tags/purpleribboncampaignforequalparenting/show/ - Upload your photo now!

"Which feminist along the way forgot to read the manual?" http://feminist4fathers.mensnewsdaily.com

"Children deserve fully functioning, natural, loving, dedicated relationships with both of their parents, equally, in and out of marriage, whenever possible. Shared parenting works." http://www.sharedparentingworks.org
(reproduced here by request from the Men's Issue Online newsletter)

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